Raw Sugar

poetic_star's picture

*warning: this is darker than my previous ones.*

- They told me you were a tease
with sunset streaks in your
gingerbread-tinted strands.
But your beautiful and damaged
grin took my breath away.
Whiskey cherries and overgrown
lawns created the perfect
mood for dancing and we
were seduced by the sexy
consequences of carefree
weekends and no supervision.

I hooked my fingers in the collar of your
preppy polo shirt as we stumbled into
the best drunken kiss that
made me feel invincible.
"Your lashes are amazingly long,"
you slurred against my neck.
And I chuckled, placing a hand
protectively between your
American dream shoulder blades.

I didn't know what you were
capable of back then, baby.
I was just angry and naive;
fascinated by our dangerously
cool reflections in your
silver cigarette lighter.
But traitorous Tuesday
rolled by and you became
a totally different person
with cruel intentions and
not enough confidence.

Masochistic wonderland;
cracking crude jokes behind my back,
you started to ignore me
so I downed a few shots of brandy
and went off searching
for a pretty thing to sink my teeth in.
Darling, this might sound harsh but
there were times when
you brought out the monster in me as well.

Slamming my body against
a door in a stranger's house,
you ran your fireside hands
up and down my scared rib cage and
made me promise not to kiss anyone
else ever again but the threat was
empty because whenever we were in public,
you always rejected my autumn-infused lips.
And how was that fair, baby?

That's why I left you standing
under some peeling paint,
watching as I grabbed a cute
sophomore's hand and
dragged him up the stairs
where we stroked and rode
till we were both destroyed
beneath a broken lamp
and dreary-looking posters.
But all the while I was
fighting back tears because
I loved you enough to
drown my soul in a murky
pond filled with algae and
the torn hearts of shy
private school boys.

Raw sugar and curb burns;
bruises on moonstruck skin,
I let you touch my aching
parts with your tongue
coated in sweet LSD
because you only wanted me
when your mind was muddled.

Darling, evil angels poured
from your eyes like rough
diamonds down your face.
Raw sugar and dried blood
sparkled on my bare arms
as your fingers dug into
my spine when we had sex
after the vanilla stars had died.
You insisted on pain constantly
and believe me, I tried but you
weren't really there to feel me
grinding against your hot flesh.
Earthen red muscles and ice
blue veins shone in
basement shadows
and I realized that I missed
the toy airplane innocence
I had before you tumbled
into my bedroom like Alice
falling through that
demented rabbit hole.

Darling, I locked your wrist
in my most stubborn grip,
holding it against my chest
and confessed that I was
fed up with all this selfishness.
All I wanted was for you
to admit that we were lovers
when your buddies weren't
around to call us names
or judge our embrace.
But you shook your head,
walking away because
without the snow-white drugs
and teal bottles of tragic illusion,
you were never mine to begin with.

"How come we can't save people?"
I wondered as the graceful morning
crept in through my window and
robbed me of your scent forever.

Comments

Dracofangxxx's picture

dang

just
wow
awesome

you take my breath away, dude
-
That's redick!

poetic_star's picture

I appreciate it

thanks, dude :P

swimmerguy's picture

Holy fuck

You should, like, publish a bunch of books, like Jack Kerouac, narrating your life in poetry.
It'd be awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0&safe_search=on

poetic_star's picture

:)

thanks :) I'm really glad you liked it, though this isn't really about me. I chose to write about an unhealthy relationship I saw on screen recently and how it made me feel.

angel syndrome's picture

which film is it?

which film is it?

poetic_star's picture

The perks of being a

The perks of being a wallflower.. I was really moved by the character, Patrick. But it's not a play-by-play of what happens, just the part about being with someone who's ashamed of you in public. The rest is just my imagination going crazy haha

elph's picture

btw...

I've just gotten that book!

It's constructed quite interestingly... but it's just one of about 4 that I'm devoting my evening hours to.

I can't imagine an Oasie™ who wouldn't find it a great "read!"

Bosemaster42's picture

Oooh,

I've been dying to go see that movie. Logan Lerman is gorgeous.

elph's picture

Hey... Thanks for the reminder!

I see that it's currently playing at a theater nearby!

Bosemaster42's picture

Oooh,

I've been dying to see that movie! Logan Lerman is so gorgeous.

elph's picture

It's on my "to do" list...

for tomorrow!

jeff's picture

Best...

movie I saw all year. Amazing. Ezra Miller is breathtakingly good in it.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

anarchist's picture

I think the best movie I've seen this year might be "Looper".

It's the first movie ever that made me cry. I was expecting it to be a piece of shit, but it turned out to actually be really good.

The new Batman was incredible, too, but it didn't make me cry.

What's this The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Is it a sad movie, a funny movie, a serious movie?

jeff's picture

---"You can judge the

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

anarchist's picture

Looks like a piece of shit highschool movie.

But I'm terrible at judging a movie before I see it. Except The Amazing Spider-man. I knew that was a disgustingly horrible piece of shit the moment I heard about it. And it turned out even worse than I expected.

jeff's picture

Err...

Why go to movies you expect to be shit?

I thought Batman was weak story-wise. But that's a Nolan hallmark.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

anarchist's picture

I didn't want to.

My family forced me to. I really didn't want to see The Amazing Piece of Shit, but they made me go, so I went. And even with my low expectations, I was still disappointed so much I was speechless.

poetic_star's picture

I know, right?

He was so funny and cute. "If you fail me, you get me next semester" LOL

elph's picture

Went today... but...

projectors were not functioning and were expected to be "down" for the whole day. This was determined even before I could buy my ticket of admission!

However... they gave me a totally free pass for tomorrow... or whenever!

In any event, it seems that this is a movie "not to be missed."

Tomorrow... hopefully. :)

Bosemaster42's picture

Very sad,

Beautifully written as usual.

poetic_star's picture

thank you.. and yes, it is

thank you.. and yes, it is very sad :( But I'm happy you still like it :D

MaddieJoy's picture

you

are an amazing writer

poetic_star's picture

aww thank you, dear :)

aww thank you, dear :)

angel syndrome's picture

"But all the while I

"But all the while I was
fighting back tears because
I loved you enough to
drown my soul in a murky
pond filled with algae and
the torn hearts of shy
private school boys."

one million sighs

poetic_star's picture

:D

:D

jeff's picture

Hey...

I'm not a huge poetry fan, and that seems to be your thing, so figured I'd at least pop in and welcome you to the site and hope you enjoy your time here. There are a great number of people who do dig on it, so no worries there.;-)

Welcome to Oasis!

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

Uh... autobiographically inspired?

No clue to their sexualities (polo shirt may have provided a hint)... although it was quite "sexual!"

I trust that ambiguity was intentional?

I probably would have enjoyed it a bit more minus the reference to masochism... maybe the cigarette lighter, as well. But neither is a biggie!

poetic_star's picture

no, it's not

no, it's not autobiographical, though that's what everyone seems to think about my poetry :P actually, sometimes I mean for the genders to be convoluted to make the reader wonder but in this case they're both boys and the hint is in the line "a murky pond filled with algae and the torn hearts of shy schoolboys". I get the masochism thing but that unfortunately is a real emotion that people sometimes feel in an unhealthy relationship. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

elph's picture

Thanks...

Yeah... I totally missed the "schoolboys" line/reference. Had I caught that, the ambiguity would have evaporated!

MacAvity's picture

Whew.

Talent.

poetic_star's picture

thanks

I'm glad you think so :D