We're just going to stay the way we were before.
At least, as close as we can to the way we were before. I hope it's exactly like we were before. Hope things haven't gotten awkward, or at least won't stay awkward. We both really, really hope that.
Everything we said last night was true. It just doesn't lead in the same direction by day as it does at one in the morning when she hasn't had her pill. Still not sure if it was the midnight weirdness or the not-taking-the-meds or what. Somehow that doesn't seem to make it less real.
I don't know. I don't regret what happened last night - except I do, 'cause it seems like it might be making things awkward. I'm not disappointed that we're not - except I am, sort of, 'cause I sort of wanted more, except not, 'cause the idea of more was just as terrifying as it was appealing.
It's better this way. If 'this way' is how it was before. I hope.
Hell who knows. I sure don't.
When we can share a bed and cuddle again, I'll be happy. Sleepover tonight is off. She says she has too much work to do. I hope that's really the reason. It probably is.