it's so difficult sometimes to try being happy because habits are difficult to manage and get rid of.
hiding your knees
considering how lonely everything is
contemplating dying, ect.
It's difficult because these are "safe" habits for me and truly appreciating things is new.
At the same time I've always told people that all I've ever wanted is to be okay and I'm starting to feel that way.
It's hard too because I feel like I have so much to say yet no one to tell.
I suppose I'll just drink some tea and read Norwegian Wood until I fall asleep.