My good luck has run out... At first, I thought it was lucky that I got to take a test later than everyone else since I missed review day, but then I had to take it in the back of the room while class was going on. I couldn't concentrate since the teacher has a screechy voice, and I made a fucking 76 and it's a dual enrollment class. I'm so mad. I also made a bad grade on another test, but the teacher is really scatterbrained and graded a lot of questions totally wrong, so it should be like a C+ or B- now. I guess that's not too bad.
I'm too tired to function. This fucking week, oh my god. I'm so tired all the time. I just want everyone to stop. I almost got into a wreck Wednesday because I'm so perpetually tired. I was driving to school, and I was stuck behind this dumbass who drove mega slow and drove in the middle of two lanes. I didn't want to be near him anymore, and because I'm an idiot and also basically a zombie, I got away from him but basically pulled out in front of this other car like an idiot. I felt so dumb once I realized what happened.
I took TWO naps Wednesday. At school, I slept on the fucking gym floor. Yep. We have retractable bleachers, and they weren't out, so I just slept on the floor. I wasn't the only person doing it, so I didn't give a shit. I used my backpack as a pillow, and yes, it was every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds. I also slept an hour that afternoon. And I still woke up feeling like shit the next morning.
I have the SAT this weekend, and I just am dreading it so bad. Ugh. At least it doesn't really matter what I make on it since my ACT is already awesome. And at least it's a long weekend too, so I won't feel all disoriented by only feeling like I had one weekend day like I did after the last ACT. I can't sleep all day Sunday, though, because I may have plans then. I guess I'll sleep all day Saturday after I get home from the SAT.
God, I am just kicking myself for signing up for the SAT. I didn't know it was going to be right after 2 solid weeks of hell when I signed up! And I wouldn't have signed up at all if I had known what I made on the ACT! Seriously, why did they make the registration deadlines like that? Oh well, if my SAT is bad, I just won't send it.
I don't even care about being the salutatorian anymore. I really don't. I don't care if IG and I both have 3.8s. She can have it, even if she doesn't really even need it since she's set on going to a school that's way beneath her qualifications. I am so done. I'm more than likely gonna get into my number one choice college with a 30 and a 3.8 anyway, regardless of whether I'm second or third or, hell, even fourth in the class. I don't want her to be mad at me, and it's too much stress to worry about my grades AND hers. If I beat her, I beat her, and if I don't, who the fuck cares?
Anyway, so, speaking of IG, this is weird. We had the senior play a few days ago, and I was weirdly attracted to her at the senior play, even though a few weeks ago when we had that awkward moment, I wasn't? I think it's because I realized she looks good in tight pants. (Sorry, IG, you have a pretty nice butt, not gonna lie.) Or also because she's a cheerleader, and I have a severe case of Hot Girl Deprivation Syndrome, as I described in my last journal.
Recently, I've been checking out all the (senior) cheerleaders and I never feel bad about it, but I usually feel bad about looking at her because she's my friend. But I can't help it. I NEED something to look at, and there aren't many hot girls around, but she's decent-looking enough, and, well, not gonna lie, her body is pretty spectacular, haha. I mean, it has to be. She's a cheerleader. She's all, like, toned and has abs and stuff. But at the same time, she is IG. She used to steal FCG's attention when I liked FCG, and one time when we weren't friends she said my shoes were ugly and then proceeded to buy the exact same shoes like a week later, and she asks me laughably stupid math questions yet still makes better math grades than me. So I mean, like... why? Hahaha, I don't know why!
I'm telling you, my friends, Hot Girl Deprivation Syndrome is legit. I can't wait for college. There had better be hot, gay, single cheerleaders there. I'm sorry, I just really like cheerleaders. What if for my birthday I got my very own cheerleaders? You know in the old Pokemon cartoons, how the rival, Gary, had a car full of his own cheerleaders? I want that for my birthday. They will wear purple.
I will probably regret this post once I actually get enough sleep to feel like a normal human.