Am I being unreasonable, or is it totally okay to be angry?

Super Duck's picture

At the risk of sounding like a stereotypically dramatic teenage girl, I really cannot stand my "best friend" at the moment. She's been pissing me off a lot this schoolyear, but what she did last week is the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. She made me do our entire two-person project all by myself because she was sick the week before last and never bothered to contact me regarding the project, which she knew all about, then skipped school almost all last week to avoid responsibility. She was fine the weekend of the 3rd, but avoided school almost every day last week anyway. I asked her to please show up on the day the project was due so she could at least help me present it, but she said no quite rudely and, of course, failed to show up. At least now everyone else who is in the class also thinks she is an ultrabitch too. Hmm, Ultrabitch is a good nickname for her for the sake of this post. Yes.

But she treats me like shit most of the time. She's mean to my other friend too, who has joined me in avoiding her. She yells at anyone who disagrees with her about anything and says they are stupid. She has this obsession with hating the "stupid," but the more I think about it, the more I don't understand.

I used to think she was really smart because she is going to be valedictorian, but so what? She's so lazy and always copies my homework without even asking. She has never made an attempt at any calculus homework this whole year, for example. She never cares about anything since she's valedictorian, but what if she skips so many days of school that they take her title away? My school gives grade penalties for excessive absences, so it could happen. Also, although a score isn't everything, it's worth noting that I put her standardized test scores to absolute shame, which makes her so mad. I'm so "stupid" to her, yet I'm at the 95th percentile of all ACT takers in the nation while she might not even be able to get into the honors program at the state college she wants to go to because of her score. I beat her current score the very first time I took the test as an unprepared junior who didn't even know the test format. So did two other "stupid" people.

She's said some of the most ignorant, mind-numbingly idiotic shit I've ever heard... and I live in the stifling rural South, where it's much more like 1912 than 2012. (Except there's Wi-Fi!) There have been times when I was legitimately embarrassed for her and to even be around her.

So, I just don't understand where her intellectual superiority complex comes from. It's a severe case of unwarranted pretentiousness. She would fail math if it weren't for MY work, her ACT score isn't that great, and she's not even going to an elite college that she could brag about. She's going to the same one 90% of the class is going to, yet she thinks they are all so far beneath her that she cannot associate with them. (The few of us who are going to go to better schools than her are also "stupid," by the way, so I guess that has little bearing on it.) What the fuck ever. I never liked her whole elitist attitude that much. Sure, I also have a lot of academic accomplishments that I could be a smug, pretentious fucker about, but I would never want to be annoying like that because that's not who I am. People... gasp... don't like that! Shock! Horror!

Other Friend and I have started to stay with the rest of the seniors, which is pretty nice. I mean, when your options are sitting with some cute girls you are never allowed to sit with or having to listen to somebody tell you how much you suck at everything if you accidentally say one little thing the aforementioned person disagrees with, the choice is pretty obvious. There are a few cute girls, like I said, and they're all very nice and welcoming, so that's good. Much better than getting screamed at for breathing wrong.

The whole ignoring her thing wasn't really my idea. IG got sick of seeing me get mistreated and suggested I start avoiding Ultrabitch. Apparently the real reason why IG wouldn't come near us at the beginning of the school year was because she wasn't getting treated very well either. (You know, even though we've most definitely had our rough patches, IG is really a great friend. She supports all the things I want to do and does not call them stupid or question my abilities. She doesn't throw a hissy fit whenever I talk to people she doesn't like. Oh, and she has also never said that my sexual orientation is attention-seeking like a certain Ultrabitch once said and then proceeded to disregard forever! Basically, I am glad I have IG because she is not an asshole.)

Um, I'm a little scared that the Ultrabitch might have taken a notebook out of my locker without asking, like she always freaking does, and in said notebook I may have kinda scribbled angrily on a particularly shitty day about how much she pisses me off in great detail... Well, at least if she did see it, then that would break the news that we aren't friends anymore without me actually having to say anything!

I had a shitty week last week except for my birthday, though... For example, I got my first speeding ticket last Thursday. Nobody likes that. I was running late for school. I wasn't really worried until I remembered I'm an "adult" now legally, and then that's when the hysterical crying started because I started imagining actual legal repercussions because I'm 18, but I think I was overreacting. I'm not gonna try and fight it or anything since I was indeed doing exactly what I was accused of, but it still annoys me a little because I feel like a jackass for getting caught since literally no one ever obeys the 55 limit down that road. Like, ever. I drove 55 this morning and got passed angrily by 3 cars in a row. At least my mom wasn't mad about the ticket. (At least I don't fucking Skype while I drive like my mom does!)

Sigh... I really hate driving. Like, I really, legitimately hate doing it. When I'm behind the wheel, I feel nothing but contempt for the universe. I hate getting gas, I hate other drivers, I hate the way jackasses who can't park in their giant vehicles take up two spots each in the senior parking area, I hate getting stuck behind school buses, I hate when my car does some stupid bullshit since it's so old, I hate annoyingly low speed limits, everything. I used to think it was fun when I was 16 and it was new, but it just becomes a loathsome chore after the novelty wears off.

Also, that same day, some dumb little shit on the top of the bleachers in the gym dropped a giant textbook on me, which really hurt, and then didn't even apologize. Oh, and the kid smelled like horrible B.O., which was disgusting, and the smell lingered a few seconds after he picked up his book and left. Eww.

Um, on a slightly better note, I made an 85 on my calculus test. That's a pretty solid B, which isn't so bad. I'm a little sad it wasn't another A- like the past two tests were, but it's not so bad. I have an A- in calculus, which is pretty good. Calculus is the easiest math I've ever taken. It's a shame there wasn't calculus on the ACT!

Actually, this post is already a mile long and I need to go to bed, so I'm just gonna stop writing here. I know I kinda digressed there at the end of the post, but tell me, is my anger about my friend situation unwarranted? I feel like I'm being kinda harsh in ignoring her completely, but she is SUCH a shitty friend...


hellonwheels's picture

Kinda harsh...

But totally understandable...I mean, she totally left you hanging on that project....did she get partial credit for NOTHING? It seems like she is using your 'friendship' to her advantage, not yours. a user. You should stop doing her HW and try to distance yourself, IMO.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Super Duck's picture

No, she didn't get any

No, she didn't get any credit because my teacher noticed she was gone the entire time and asked me what happened. She is going to have to write a paper about it instead, but I still had to do the whole project all by myself, which was stressful and annoying.

jeff's picture


Seems impossible for her to be the valedictorian. How did she achieve that status?

Doesn't sound like much of a loss if she wasn't your fried anymore. I mean, what's the upside?

I'd say keep ignoring her and make her work to get you back. Doesn't seem like it's your job to be approaching her and trying to iron things out.

Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

Super Duck's picture

She's valedictorian because

She's valedictorian because she tried the first two years of high school and made very high A's in every subject. After that, two teachers really liked her and graded her stuff super lightly, and she didn't do too horribly in any other class. There are just under 50 people in the senior class, so it's easy to be near the top of the class with little effort since classes are usually easy and most people don't make very good grades.

Basically, I don't live in a very good place for education. The public schools here are absolutely abysmal, so I go to the "best" private school in the area, which still isn't all that good. It's kind of a joke compared to the public schools my cousins go/went to in other states. (I feel horrible because it was a huge waste of my parents' money for me to be miserable for 12 years only to get a very mediocre education, but that's another story for another time, I guess.)

Bosemaster42's picture


It almost sounds like she has cheated her way to valedictorian status.
Also sounds like she has a habit of using people/manipulating to get what she wants. I know many of the same ilk, they almost always crash & burn. Based on her treatment of you, I would completely ignore her.
Why waste your time and effort? I'm sure you've heard the cliche', ' With friends like that, who needs enemies?' Your not wrong being angry with her, however, it's always more advisable to keep a level head when you're driving. I can empathize with you, believe me, I have the worst commute on a daily basis and driving in Massachusetts, in general, leads normally calm people to bouts of road rage.

Super Duck's picture

Not so much in the past, but

Not so much in the past, but this year she definitely cheats to maintain her status. She copies my math and my government homework all the time without even asking or anything. She is most definitely a user and manipulator of people.

I really don't want to waste time patching things up with her at all. I don't have to see her any after this year since I will be very far away for college, and I don't plan on keeping in contact with her at all either. She constantly complains that she always loses friends, but if literally all of her "best friends" ditch her, it seems a lot more likely that it is she who has the problem...

elph's picture

As with the others...

How did she become valedictorian?

Super Duck's picture

I answered it in my reply to

I answered it in my reply to Jeff's post. I could probably have been valedictorian if I hadn't made a C in two classes. :(

elph's picture


I see what's happening... but it doesn't compute: When I was in high school, we never knew who would make "valedictorian" until the final grades of the senior year were issued!

To "know" this far in advance can only engender laxity on her part.... and resentment among potential challengers! :(

Super Duck's picture

She knows because they

She knows because they showed us our GPAs on a 100-point scale, and hers is far head of everyone else's. The salutatorian and I have 95 and she has 98, so there is no way for anyone to catch up.

elph's picture

Revealing everyone's GPA...

was the first mistake... particularly so if they were associated with students' names! :(

And, another personal view: If I were in charge, I'd probably advocate giving increasing weight to student GPAs as one progresses from Freshman to Senior. This would (hopefully) inspire "slow starters," and also let the brighter students know that "they'll likely miss out if they start sloughing off!"

Super Duck's picture

Oh, they didn't release them

Oh, they didn't release them all publicly or anything. The counselor's office told each individual their own GPA and class rank. It's important to know it for college applications and such.

I like the idea of increasing weight on the GPAs throughout the years. The two classes I messed up in were freshman and sophomore year, before I even cared about college at all. :(

elph's picture

So... she's just lost a little more respect!

I would have had great difficulty in "broadcasting" my own GPA!

In her case, it appears to be gloating --- something whenever I see it makes me feel quite uncomfortable!

Super Duck's picture

It's not really gloating or

It's not really gloating or anything like that, everyone shares it. It's not really considered secret or a big deal.