Its not fair.

DarkestValley's picture

So the plan is, I think im going to break up with Jake a few months after our one year. It's going to be so hard, because I love him so much, but I just I cant deal with this kind of stress anymore, this sexual stress!
Im in this sort of predicament you see. I want to have sex, but I want to have it with a virgin because I am a virgin. I have saved it from so many other men, and I dont want to loose it to my current boyfriend who threw his virgnity away in Bali and sold it for 30 dollars to an asian prositute. It honestly makes me sick. I think it's so unfair. He should have saved it for me. It would have been so much more meaningful than sleeping with some whore in Bali. We could have shared our first time together and because he decided to sell his to some hooker, he thus does not deserve my first time, despite how much I wish he did.

I dont want to see a future with him for that reason. But what if he is my one true love? What happens if I break up with him, have sex with a virgin and realize that his love was the one. I just wish he hadnt of slept with that hooker things would have been different. I just want to walk away without feeling anything. Life is BS.

This annoys me.

Comments

elph's picture

This is so sad...

I'm torn as to what I really think about his revealing this history to you...

I sorta believe he should have just kept it forever as "his secret." I cannot envisage him not thinking that this info would have been anything but hurtful to you...

And, if he didn't "know" this... that also would have merited a negative mark!

Not knowing your "true" relationship... I can only hope that it all works out for the best... especially for you!

DarkestValley's picture

No I think he knew it would

No I think he knew it would hurt me as, he told me he had slept with a woman once before and when I asked if it was a prostitue he denied however months later when the topic was brought to conversation again he admitted she was in fact a prostitue. So angry! Because to be honest, if he had told me at the start I probably would havent gone out with him in the first place because we obviously share different morals :( Arrr so frustrated. This probably sounds silly, but I honestly cant help my moral views :( It's sad. society is seriously fucked. I wish I had just slept with ym ex boyfriend, and that just makes me more annoyed because virgnity should be a virtue yet its being portrayed in scoiety as this disgusting loser thing.. fml.

elph's picture

Yeah... he impresses me as a very immature cad!

Whether he's worthy of your affection after all of this history, only you can judge. Think long and hard...

However... we do possibly have a bit of disagreement on the "morals" bit!

I strongly feel that we should all have our own very-personal set of morals!

However, I'm saddened when I see one who may have absorbed and retained intact "hook, line, and sinker" those espoused by religion. Not saying that you have, but it sounds like you may still remain one so victimized.

We are all born with a brain... please don't allow it to be co-opted!

radiosilence95's picture

Well, good luck finding a

Well, good luck finding a virgin to get with. I mean realistically, most people around your age have already had sex at least once. Plus, it seems kind of ridiculous to base your relationship on that one thing alone. What if you meet an awesome guy who's perfect for you and then you don't feel like you can be with him just because he's been with another girl before?

jeff's picture

This sexual stress...

is all self-inflicted.

If this is criteria for breaking up with him, then it does indicate a problem in the relationship: You.

Virginity is only required if you're going to be Jesus's mother. Otherwise, it has no value. As for wanting to know your partner's sexual history, again, this is a completely irrelevant issue. If you know they have practiced safe sex and such, or have been tested, etc., then what happened before you is unimportant (less history, more mystery - as the saying goes).

The person you are with now is the sum of their life experience up until this point, so there may be things you love about him that came from his sleeping with a prostitute, and they might even be positive things that the experience brought out. So, you're not loving someone despite the fact they slept with a prostitute, you are loving someone because of the person they became through that and every other experience in their life until now.

You said yourself that if you were both virgins, the sex would have more meaning. But that is only because you have decided that situation has meaning for whatever social, moral, or religious reasons. So, again, you are the obstacle here.

It is way harder to find love than sex in this world. And it is even harder to find virgins, unless you're 12. So, I think you need to put the Disney princess fantasies away, and realize you are abandoning love by making this about his sexual history.

Sexual histories are good things, so your best bet is to get one, with this guy, and not dwell on how you expected life to work out. If this is the first time you're having to adjust your expectations around actual life, it won't be your last, so get a good start and learn to roll with it.

The next guy might just be smart enough to lie to you until after the sex... so you're also punishing Jake for being honest.

So, to recap, your problem is you have an honest guy that you're in love with who wants to sleep with you?! How awful... There's a lot of people on this site that would LOVE to have as much BS in their life. ;-)

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