Nobody wants me

MaddieJoy's picture

None of my teachers remember my name. They call me Maddie & I've told them since registration that my name is M-A-D-E-L-E-I-N-E Ma-duh-LIN!!!
My history partner leans around me to talk about things like "Did you see her knockers on Skype last night?" to his friend all period.
My theatre group decides on games w/out me, then G informs me that "Well, the people over HERE wanted this..." when I make suggestions, and the "nice" openly gay boy I wanted to be friends w/ makes fun of me for making my own costume (btw, look who's talking, Mr. Perm!).
The girls in PE avoid me, and the one boy I know prefers my ex-friend to me.
In math, I sit alone.
At lunch, a group of kids who pretend to rape each other are the only people who invite me to sit w/ them. A few others take the chairs around me & then ask "Are you ok?" But what am I supposed to say to that?
"No, actually, see nobody wants to be my friend & I've been struggling w/ my identity & I would probably be dead except I'm too afraid it would hurt...would you like to see the latest scene I just spent an hour writing for my ridiculously depressing play based on the life of a girl who had true love & got executed by her cousin?"
End of bitchfest

Comments

MaddieJoy's picture

also

Rumpelstiltsken (on Once Upon a Time) just found true love. WTF? He gets a girlfriend & I don't?!

The ducks will get you!

poetic_star's picture

I know what you mean

about Rumplestilsken and meaner, more selfish people who get love but clearly don't deserve it. It's why life is unfair. And I feel the exact same way, I mean, I might not be really talented or attractive or whatever, but I'm not a bad person so how is it that I'm alone? And I think you're a really kind person who probably shouldn't limit yourself to people who don't appreciate you very much. Like with the theater group, maybe you could talk to someone in the group about how you're being treated? Also, you don't have to sit with those kids at lunch if they make you feel uncomfortable. There's gotta be someone nice who you could ask to sit with instead. Take care :) I'm always here if you need to talk.

MaddieJoy's picture

thank you

The ducks will get you!

anarchist's picture

Afraid it will hurt?

I'd be more afraid of reincarnation being true, and then getting stuck with a really shitty life. The pain only lasts until you die, then it's all peaceful. I imagine death would be the most pleasant experience ever. But that's for later.

Everything here is pretty much me. Except obviously it differs from my life in certain areas that you didn't describe, because I'm perfectly happy. Maybe because I've never been bullied, but I digress.

If you don't enjoy not having friends (first, I don't understand why), maybe try talking to strangers. It always works with me. Even if they turn out not liking you, fuck them. Find someone else. You're perfectly capable of meeting friends, but you're just afraid, like you are of death. (Actually, you sound like quite a pussy. I for one am excited for when I will die. It'll be enlightening.)

MaddieJoy's picture

you

Are quite the bitter old man aren't you? I cant be mad at people I've talked to for too long because I cant hate someone who feels real. Id hate to be stick in your cynical world. And I am not afraid of death, just of pain.
Why am I a Pussy? Because I'm shy? Because I have feelings? Maybe I feel too much but you, my dear, feel too little and only one emotion.
I feel much better now, being called names always helps me put things in perspective.

The ducks will get you!

anarchist's picture

Eh,

my dad's much more cynical than I am. It's pretty much impossible to get him to like anyone or anything he doesn't know. It's pretty annoying.

Bosemaster42's picture

Sorry to hear that.

But, I do find it ironic that you choose to perpetuate what you find annoying. You didn't have to be mean to maddie, did you?

anarchist's picture

But it was funny.

For me at least. I thought you'd realized by now that half the stuff I post on here is just tongue-in-cheek for my (and hopefully everyone else's) amusement. The actual message is hidden under all that.

That's why so many people called me an asshole last year. I'd try to compliment them, but it would always come out sounding like an insult.

Bosemaster42's picture

Well,

It stands to reason some people may be more sensitive to the way you say some things, it does come off as kind of insensitive. I'm used to you, others may not be.