but I've had a personal revelation. I fucking deleted that Grindr account I made only yesterday. You know why? It made me realize how incredibly secure and complete I am as a person. It may sound odd that of all things to draw from it that it would be along those lines, but I truly have. You know what, I'm heavy. I way 220 pounds at 6'0" and I'm fat. I got ripped to shreds on there, everyone fucking telling me to lose weight (ironic being I've lost fucking loads since last year) and to put down the Cheetos. I felt terrible about how my body looked; I dreaded having to take "body pics" to send to the guys messaging me.
I realized how absolutely, positively idiotic and repulsive I was being. Before I made that account, I was absolutely thrilled about how my body looked. I looked so much better than I ever did and I was over the moon! But now I'm going let myself be knocked down a peg by insecure, sexually depraved, internet whores? The hell am I doing?
I can honestly say that I have grown to be a secure person. I can admit my flaws with honesty and dignity, and I can confidently say what is so good about my person. I am a beautiful person, inside and out. I have been blessed with extraordinary looks; I have a nose and pair of lips that people pay surgeons for. And more importantly, I am a highly intelli- no, I'm fucking brilliant. I have wit, charm, and above all a good head on my shoulders. I'm troubled, that much is true. But I persevere, and I conquer. There are things that have happened in my life that would drive people to suicide. I'm still here, breathing and alive, and not ready to let insignificant people drag me down.
One last point to make in this hubris riddled journal, Warren the slut is no longer. Hooking up with strangers like this reminded me of what a sad life I was living. Addicted to drugs, insecure about every aspect of my being, having sex with complete strangers. I'm done with that life. Its nothing but a depressing hell-hole that destroys character and kills the soul.