Vicodin.

ElsaGabor's picture

I don't even know what to write about, I just feel like fucking splashing all my emotions on some fucking page and just screaming out to the world and shit. I don't know. I fucking hate surgery. All these damn meds are getting me so high.

Remember when I used to post all those journals when I was all high and shit? Those were fucking crazy. I was reading them a few nights ago and I can't even believe some of the shit I wrote. Drugs are fucking evil, one day they're gonna kill me. I'm such a pathetic waste, oh my god. I can never escape it. I don't wanna be high anymore, get me off of this shit.

I wanna live in the rain where I belong. I just want to go into my fantasies and be there for eternity. I used to always dream of lost, ancient realms full of ruins tucked in the depths of rain forests. I wish those dreams never left me.

I wish I never touched that DXM shit, it ruined me forever. It started me on this fucking endless road. It hurts and makes me scream on the inside but nobody hears me. Nobody knows how sad I am. That god awful birthday party. Where I thought I locked myself in the bathroom stall and someone had to come get me. So fucking humiliating.

I need to sleep. Bye.

Comments

jeff's picture

Umm...

What surgery?!

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Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

ElsaGabor's picture

I had all four of my wisdom

I had all four of my wisdom teeth cut out of my gums (twice as painful as having them pulled -_-) and one of them had grown around a nerve causing a lot of inflammation and irritation.

jeff's picture

Yikes...

Vicodin is a good drug, though, since it really zeros in on the pain and I didn't really feel like I was getting high at the same time.

On the last pill in my prescription, I took it and it felt awesome, and I was buzzing and that's when I was like: Oh, when there's no pain to get rid of, this thing just throws a party. Then I was like, that damned dentist is too smart, I don't have any more.

Of course, I don't have issues with drugs, except fear, hehe.

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Hey, Sexy Lady! Oppan Gangnam Style...

angel syndrome's picture

Hi, I just wanted to let you

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that getting off drugs is tough, and addictive substances will change you forever, but it's definitely possible once you try. It typically takes about 3-5 days for your body to stop "needing" a drug, and from there on out it will continue to require constant willpower, but it remains a possibility. Every minute is a choice.

ElsaGabor's picture

Hi Angel Syndrome,

Thanks for the comment and advice, but sadly this is all something I'm aware of. I've been a recovering addict for about a year or so now, and I've been pretty successful at kicking my habits, but like everyone else in recovery its always a challenge. But regardless, your advice is well appreciated :)