Trigger Warning: Insomnia, eating disorders, disordered eating, self-image, body image, gender dysphoria, self-harm, depression, mental illness
so things have been weird lately.
and by that i mean bad but i just dont know what adjective really fits anymore to describe what im going through.
im sorry for venting/complaining, whatever it is you think i'm doing, but i really need to and i feel like i dont have any other venue to do it. i do feel bad that i only come back to post such selfish stuff though. sorry.
but i dont know if i mean to or not but im not sleeping much at all. and i dont even remember going to bed from the night before. i cant at all picture it. i just dont remember going to bed period. not even climbing into bed. its weird.
i've been so tired and super out of it.
and then came eating. or rather, non eating.
im having trouble eating. and i dont know why.
i've skipped a couple meals but not really many. like maybe 3 in the last 2 weeks or something.
but its harder to eat, i dont look forward to it, i dread meal time.
apparently, when im really tired, i dont feel hungry / i dont eat but it doesnt seem to bother me at the time.
safe to say, my immune system isnt so happy with me. apparently not eating or sleeping much is a really shitty combo.
been feeling crappy but i know part of that is not sleeping /eating as much as i need to.
still depressed. no change there.
ocd and anxiety have spiked majorly.
questions? inbox me or leave comments.