And they've been calling me my ACTUAL NAME, Eli.

centerfielder08's picture

So I'm sorry its been a while, though I haven't forgotten about you, Oasis.

First, let me say this. And I'm not supposed to say this, but I'm anxious about one of my relatives, whose name shall remain unsaid. I don't know what to think about what's going on. But she was in the ER earlier and now she's been admitted to the hospital. And maybe you'll know her, so I won't say too much or else you'll figure out how to connect the dots and I don't want that happening. Anyway, she was hospitalized because her heart was beating really fast, apparently. That's just about all I know. So I have no way of assessing the severity or anything of the sort.

Uni is going well. Third week of classes just ended. The classes are pretty good for the most part I guess. I'm having a lot of trouble with the outside the class stuff. And by that, I mean that my health is not so good and it's really starting to get to me. I'm still seeing my therapist once a week and am seeing my disability coach once a week, too. So that's helpful. My doctor, I see her every 3 months. But she doesn't listen to me. Because apparently I "haven't gotten bad enough yet" for her to change the way in which she tries to treat me. It's annoying.

I submitted five poems for submission the other day, hopefully that goes well!! Sounds as though I won't find out for a bit, however. Maybe submitting some other poems for submission elsewhere, but haven't decided for sure.

Transition-stuff is going well, and people have been very considerate, and even so much as asking me what pronouns I'd prefer they use for me. All of my profs are calling me by the right name, thank goodness, except yesterday, a prof emailed me and even though he's called me Eli and I signed my email with the name Eli, he addressed the email to my girl name which is starting to seem more and more foreign by the day I think.

Everyone in my Poetry class knows I'm trans*. I haven't officially come out in any of my other classes yet, but in one class, we've been in groups for group presentations and so last group I was in, I told all of them. Then, I'll meet with my new group this Sunday, and at that point I'll come out to them. Because I need people to use the right pronouns for me (which are MALE). I have an urge to apologize for making things complicated for others because I know I don't look like your ordinary guy, but you know what? It is perfectly legit and I have every right to tell people how to treat me right. Eli is my name and I go by male pronouns. It's not up for debate, yknow. It is what it is.

Was going to write more, but can't remember what, specifically at the moment.

Questions/comments/suggestions, etc...feel free to write below or inbox me :)


jeff's picture


Why are you not meant to say you're anxious about someone in the hospital? Seems a reasonable reaction.

When someone calls you anything other than Eli, correct them. Or call him a girl's name, or something to steer them back on track. He probably has the other name in his records, so might just need a reminder.

If these are new people, you don't need to do too much coming out. Since, they have little to no previous knowledge of you, so just say you're "Eli, a boy who loves to express his thoughts through poetry," and most people will get it, I would imagine. I think adding all this other drama to it gets you nowhere.

When I moved to San Francisco, I met a guy and he told me his name was Blue. So, I called him Blue. I didn't really care why he was Blue, or what his name used to be. You're Blue? OK, fine by me...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

centerfielder08's picture

I don't know. I mean, I

I don't know. I mean, I guess just because I don't know what's going on and I feel like its supposed to be a secret for some reason. Turns out, she apparently had a mild heart attack.

Then, I wrote back to the prof to send him a draft of my paper, again signing the email with "Eli." He (THANKFULLY!) wrote "Eli" when he was addressing me in his reply email.

That's true. :). I just need to figure out a way to nonchalantly tell them that I go by male pronouns and that I'm a boy.

That's awesome. And yes, I've learned that the more chill I am about my coming out, the more receptive people are and the less likely they are to freak out about it being a big deal.

Thanks, as always, Jeff.

elph's picture

Which made me think... sorry :)

*Uh... Bosemaster42: I suspect you just might appreciate this one! A bit too subtle... no? :)

anarchist's picture

Why did you post the censored version?

The songs ruined by that beep.

jeff's picture


Back when this came out, they didn't release clean and explicit versions, so there are far more beeped versions in existence. I think a recent anniversary reissue did finally release an unbeeped version, though.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles