Back to school :/

Mogul's picture

Things have been really awkward lately.

3 days after Christmas there was this guy at the beach (he was like 30) that started talking to me and apparently he was hitting on me and I was to stupid to not realize it and my mom made him go giving him a death glare.

At home, my parents have been saying some homophobic things and I hate when they do it, plus they have been shipping me with some friend and its awkward when we hangout because they talk to us like if we were a couple and ask if we want some other time alone, how did I behave, if I liked her (my dad still thinking I'm straight) and stuff like that, then at home they ask me how everything went, if I wanted to call her, what have I heard from her. It's annoying! I've been losing weight lately even if I stay home all day watching tv and eating junk food and my stomach is a bipolar bitch that can't decide if she's hungry or full, I can eat 2 tiny meals a day and be full with it or eat everything that I can find and still having my stomach asking for more.
I've been 3 months without cutting (It's a record! :D), but not from my other self harm issues and my mood is going crazy again (just what I needed!).

School started yesterday and it was boring, my best friend failed the year, so did my cousin and some "Nea". I feel good that he failed the year, I won't see him in my class anymore or hear his stupid homophobic comments and the word "Nea" was made to describe a group of people that dress with sweatpants, huge shirts (mostly Ed Hardly), listen to horrible music, shave their heads, but leave a line of hair in the middle or just shaven at all, but still leaving a long pice of hair between the neck and back part of the head.
Things are different, my best guy friend isn't the same and I feel something weird in him and since he isn't in class, I'm now most of the time with girls because I can't understand what they talk about and it feels awkward, I'm back again being the guy that no one picks and people almost never talk to. There's this girl who is supper nice, and I think she used to cut, but I'll ask her. Good news, I heard that there's a gay guy in 9th grade (not my type), I've seen him staring at me a couple of time, but I shall not trust what I heard because I think it's gossip.
Remeber the gay guy from my class? Well, the first day of school I saw where his desk was and I chose one far from his, but then after I chose mine in a good spot, he sees that the next one is empty and he goes there and claims it, I had so many rage that I almost explode. Now I have him staring at me most of the time and its creeping me out, I hate him. I'll get a fake girlfriend and talk to her on my phone while he hears it.


elph's picture

If he doesn't impress you...

as someone with distinct "possibilities," why not just ignore him? He should get the message!

If others overhear you talking to a "girlfriend" on the phone, this could easily raise suspicion that you just might not be gay! :)

anarchist's picture

You're like the opposite of me.

It seems like everybody's attracted to you. People tend to ignore me.

Not that I have a problem with people ignoring me. I like being left alone; not being regularly confronted my entire life has caused me to grow wonted to it. But I'm digressing again.

Congratulations on new friends in your future, whenever they may appear.

elph's picture

"Wonted"... what a great word!

I had to look that one up! But, congratulations on finding a good use for a word you must have acquired from some obligatory reading in your HS English course. :)

I'll have to remember this one... it may even replace my current near-equivalent: inured!

anarchist's picture

You're close.

I actually learned it in middle school when we read Call of the Wild.

It wasn't nearly as good as White Fang.

elph's picture

And... may I hazard a guess?

This was your first opportunity to properly employ it?

Anyway... I strongly encourage you! Use it once, and it becomes yours.

This doesn't apply just to words. :)

jeff's picture


Hearing a gay guy pretend to be interested in a girl may only confirm he's clocked you accurately...

Women sit next to horny straight guys all the time. You'll survive.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles