First Post of 2013

jazzybchick's picture

Hey everyone! Long time no post. A lot has changed since I've last been on here. Where do I start?
Well I'm a "friend" with my ex. I'm still deeply in love with her. But I'm trying not to be an evil ex, you know? It's actually a lot worse even though we aren't together. The fighting. It's like neither of us feels like their's closure. It's hard not to want to kiss her or hold her hand. I have to stop myself when I talk sometimes. I accidentally call her "babe" or "love" or whatever else I nicknamed her.
I text her like all the time. "Hi" "have a good day" "imy" "ily" "goodnight". Speaking of my angel. She's finally texted back. Laughing because I'm being a dork. I love her laugh. I can hear it in my head. Her voice...
I'm obsessed. Don't you think? Sadly I don't know how to fix it. 1 year, 3 months, and 17 days of someone doesn't go away in the blink of an eye.
My mom is planning on having a baby with this guy who is in love with her. I might be a big sister again ^.^
I've got anxiety probs. I need medication again.
I need real friends lol.
My new nickname is Chapin. Pronounced "Ch-A-pin". Long a or whatever. Don't ask how it came up. Out of nowhere really.

Chapin

Comments

radiosilence95's picture

Sorry to hear about the

Sorry to hear about the break-up. It's honorable that you're trying to remain friends with her. However, staying in close contact with her while attempting to get over her at the same time is really almost impossible. I personally recommend distancing yourself for awhile, at least until that wound has healed for the most part. If you're always texting her, calling her, talking to her and whatnot, you're always gonna be thinking about her and you're still gonna hurt.

Some distance might do you some good. It's also a pretty good cure for obsession. And then, once you've broken that obsession and recovered from the break-up sufficiently enough, you can resume contact with her without the emotional tension.

jazzybchick's picture

I would if I could.

I know I have the option to but it's hard to do that. As stupid as it is, I can't. I'm not hurt though. That was the week after we broke up. We're both trying to fix our differences. We may try again someday. I don't know. But I won't lose her entirely. The least we could do is be friends. And also, I wasn't trying to get over her. I wanted to fix me and her as a couple. Sorry if you misread this. -Jazzy<3