I need help.

Charlie_the_Genderqueer's picture

So I've been thinking about my chosen name (the name that eventually and hopefully will be my legal name) and I'm wondering when to use it.

I don't know when to start asking people to use it. I know for damn sure I'm not transitioning until after I get out of the dorms.

Even if I wanna wait, the name I chose still feels weird to me. I want to feel more comfortable with it.

Is there anybody on here that could help me out? Advice? Anything?

This whole experience is kinda lonely and difficult and I need someone or some people to listen.

Comments

jeff's picture

Well...

While I have no experience with this specific issue, I would say that until the name feels comfortable to you, it seems like it would be premature to ask other people to use it.

Sort of like how people should avoid coming out until they are comfortable with everything? If that makes sense...

Why does that name make you feel weird?

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Charlie_the_Genderqueer's picture

I feel weird mostly because

I feel weird mostly because if I start using it, it means my transition is actually happening. As much as I want to become a truer version if myself, it means a lot of hard work and hardship. So I guess I'm still pretty terrified of beginning down this road.

jeff's picture

Well...

This will sort itself out.

At some point, you'll dislike where you are now more than fear what could happen where you are going, and then you'll start moving forward.

Or you can just decide not to wait. All your call, really. But I don't think there's much to fear as far as it not happening... just a matter of when those scales will shift on their own.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

elph's picture

Indecision can be a real bummer...

You've skirted whether your prime concern is (1) psychological: choosing and then announcing a name that will clearly identify to your friends who you feel/know you are, or(2) medical: making that life-time decision to actually commence the requisite hormone regimen.

Neither of these decisions should be made in isolation. I trust that you are in a close relationship with a professional whose primary specialty is transgender issues. And… it would be even better if there were at least one other professional who could provide continuing psychological support.

I hope you've done your research. In the event you haven't and are trying to "go it alone" --- BAD! --- I'd suggest that you might start here:

http://www.transgendered-soul.com/Transition.html

Joining a group of others who have been obliged to make decisions similar to the ones you're now facing should prove very helpful!

Good luck!

Charlie_the_Genderqueer's picture

I haven't specifically

I haven't specifically started seeing someone. I'm currently going to the free counseling center at my college. That probably isn't enough though. haha.

Thanks for the link. That's gonna be super helpful.

elph's picture

Great! Never "go it" alone!

I'm pleased to learn that I may have encouraged you to treat your concerns more directly.

Being transgendered is a real issue… but its diagnosis and treatment is fraught with possible (grievous) error if not supported by accredited professionals in this highly specialized field.

Your college counseling service should be able to head you in the right direction...

Charlie_the_Genderqueer's picture

I agree.

Before counseling, I felt really alone and confused but having someone to talk to even generally about what I'm feeling is great.

I'm glad that I'm definitely not going alone.