I haven't posted in a while. Not much happened, but I guess I have some stuff I can write about now, though. There's some bad stuff and some good stuff. I guess maybe I should say the good stuff first and then the bad because the bad involves death, and that's always kind of heavy.
My school names its valedictorian and salutatorian after the first semester. I don't know why it does that so early, but it does, and apparently it always has. Today at school, I was told to write a speech because I'm officially the salutatorian. Looking at the numbers, I beat my friend who was my main competition by a very, very small margin. I'm back on speaking terms with the "friend" who treated me badly, who already knew she was going to be valedictorian, but she's being crappy again, saying that it's not fair that I'm the salutatorian and that my other friend is going to hate me. Why is it not fair that I'm the salutatorian? What is unfair about that? I got all As last quarter. And the friend I beat really doesn't even care all that much. She was disappointed for maybe three seconds today, and then all was normal again. Personally, I thought it was a lot of fun to have such tough competition. Stressful at times, yes, but fun. I liked the feeling of needing to win.
Think about it, though. I have been dragged to hell and back at that school. The cruel kids, the sub-par classes, the depressing environment, the asinine policies, the FCG aftermath, the late night breakdowns, the anxiety, the world's worst science teacher, the teacher telling me that I would never go anywhere in life, the teacher telling me that I had no morals and that I'm a "moron", the lack of encouragement overall, the abject misery with what seemed like no foreseeable end... Fear is one of the most powerful motivators. I never could have achieved salutatorian status if I wasn't so afraid of getting stuck where I live.
(Although only someone who sucks at everything as much as I do would spend an entire day feeling smart and good and then go and make a D on a test.)
So, the bad thing now... A long time ago, a couple months after I first joined Oasis, my mom was dating a guy she met online. The guy himself turned out to be not so great, but his kids were awesome. I was 15, so they were probably 10 and 12ish. I'm pretty bad at remembering ages because it's been quite a while. That would make them what, 13 and 15 now? Around that, I guess. My mom just told me that she heard from some people she knows that live in that area that older one committed suicide earlier tonight. It's really sad. I'm shocked to hear that, honestly... It's always shocking to hear something like that. I didn't really know him very well since I only knew him for a few months several years ago, but I remember him being a really great kid. When I knew him, he was funny and charismatic and really not how you'd expect a boy his age to be. I haven't seen him in a few years, so that's just how I remember him, but I always had tons of fun with him and his brother, even though sometimes they were a little too energetic! Out of the children of all of my mom's various boyfriends and my dad's girlfriend, I think this kid and his brother were my favorites, if that makes sense.
I think I'm going to go to bed now. I just needed to update since it's been a month, and it was bothering me a little about what happened to that boy. I needed to write it down somewhere.
Edit: Actually now it's unclear whether he committed suicide or not? Like, the way my mom said it made it sound like it was a suicide, but today I've been hearing conflicting information as to whether or not it was intentional. Still very sad either way...