centerfielder08's picture


This past week, I started back at Uni. In all 4 classes, I am going as Eli and with male pronouns. I'm so worried people will slip up because, let's face it, I almost never ever ever pass. :(

Anyway, before the semester began, I emailed all 4 of my professors and came out and explained the deal with my name and pronouns. All of them gave really positive responses. And I made a point to personally thank 2 of them after class the first day with their amazingness. Because it makes a huge difference. From the first roll call, I've been Eli. No mention of my girlname and its wonderful.

For one of my classes, we're already doing a group project and so I met with my fellow group members this evening and came out. I think a couple may have already known through Facebook (we all became Facebook friends so we could talk about meeting up to practice for the presentation and stuff). Only one previously specifically messaged me to mention it and she was cool about it. The other 3 people in the group didn't address it really after I came out today (I did it super informally) and plus they may've seen it on Facebook. I dunno. But anyway, I don't care that they didn't really react one way or the other. Because it's not a big deal and it's not my issue if they don't like it or don't believe it (I know, I'm projecting my feelings onto them).

Hmm....let's see...what else? OH! So you know how forever ago, I mentioned about how I was going to have my friend order a binder for me and I kept journaling about it but it never happened?! Welll, last weekend I went out with my friend and we went shopping (it was a wonderfully validating shopping trip and she is so hugely supportive!) and then after, went for coffee and snacks and over coffee, ordered a binder for me. So it was ACTUALLY OFFICIALLY *ordered* on January 5, 2013 (I think that was the date).

Broke my clean streak or whatever. Don't remember if I already mentioned that or not. Addiction is a b*tch.

My therapist and I are changing days of when we'll meet, so I saw her yesterday, and now I have to wait a little more than a week so I can see her again (and then after that, we'll switch to Tuesdays).

What else?

Oh and I see my Disability Coach this Wednesday which is good. I haven't seen her in a long time, relatively speaking. She's very helpful. I'm anxious to see her just because of stuff from the end of last semester (I was really stressing out, no surprise, and was emailing her probably sounding super stressed and stuff).

oh and school has stressed me out. I was so incredibly stressed over winter break. And then the adjustment period going back to school is always stressful. Last week, from about Sunday to Thursday, I could barely eat. I don't know that I really had a full meal any of those days. Couldn't even eat a pb&j sandwich. Eating has improved somewhat. Which is good, because according to the scale (which I'm not supposed to check for reasons of anxiety and disordered eating maybe(?)) I lost 5 pounds in a month. And apparently that's normal fluctuation. Which is good, because I honestly can't really afford to lose much weight because then I'll get really sick.

Well there's more, but let me cut the journal off here. I'll let you digest all this for the time being.

But next time, remind me to tell you about the coming out I had over email to someone hugely important to me (more so in the past than now).

Alright, ta ta for now. My stuff is kicking in and I don't think I should be writing about it here.

So g'day.



jeff's picture


Maybe if you stop referring to Eli as some separate entity you're creating, it would seem more natural?

You're not doing anything "as Eli." You ARE Eli.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

centerfielder08's picture

Thank you, Jeff. I honestly

Thank you, Jeff. I honestly hadn't realized that and now that you mentioned it, I looked back and you're right. I didn't even know I was doing that!

:) Thanks.

jeff's picture

If anything...

Flip it around. You be Eli, but every so often be forced to do things "as (insert chick name here)"

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles