Right after Christmas I went with my other Dad to visit his brother Steve and his twin sons Connor and Colin in Hartford, Connecticut. Joining us was my companion dog, showing of her new "Please Pet Me" vest inspired by the folks who took their healing dogs to Newtown.
Uncle Steve and my other Dad are really close, and they're always e-mailing and texting each other but this was their first time being together in almost 10 years. It was cool seeing them just hugging and being happy to be in the same room again.
Connor and Colin are ten year old twin redheads, and they make the prefect comedy team. They had me in tears laughing at the airport and it just got better and better.
The next day Uncle Steve drove the nearly hour drive to Newtown and everything just changed...everywhere you looked were memorials and signs honoring the 26 lives lost. We didn't say a word, and I honestly don't think we wanted to.
We went to one of the memorials where I left a laminated copy of my last journal entry in a bag with a teddy bear. We said a quick prayer, and then went to the cemetary to visit one of the children's graves.
Looking back on it now, that was a mistake but I just really needed to do it, I just wish I knew why?
When I saw his grave I started crying really hard and collasped onto my knees, crying so hard that my nose started to bleed. I zoned out like I sometimes do when I'm having an Asperger's Moment, and everyone just hugged me and comforted me. There were also lots of people staring at us but I guess I would too?
Before we left a boy came up to us and kneeled down and pet my dog and talked to her and just really enjoyed her friendliness, he even got his face washed by her! He walked away smiling and I felt that at least I did a little good for the people there.
We went back to Hartford and just hung out, and didn't say another word about Newtown or what had happened, but we didn't need to.
We took lots of pictures, shared lots of hugs, and just enjoyed each other.
We know how lucky we are to have each other, but sometimes you need reminders of that.
On the flight back home I started feeling funny and woke up the next morning with a 104 fever. We went straight to the emergency room and I was admitted, and the whole experience just wasn't fun. I'm just now starting to feel better and will go back to school tomorrow.
Our Sadie Hawkins dance that was postponed due to the Newtown shootings is going to be Friday night, and I can't wait to be there. Even though Sarah is my date her girlfriend is going to be her guest and my boyfriend Matthew my guest. It'll be our first time together in front of our peers even though we'll be there under a facade of straight dating.
I just can't wait for us to be together!