Came out

Spiketail34's picture

On January 20th i came out to my mom. Boy was that the worst mistake i made. lol i mean she went through a heckload of personalities in a matter of 1 & 1/2 days. at first she was befuddled and reassuring as to whether what i just said was a joke, then was majorly dissappointed as though someone she knew dearly close has died or something, then she was angry and yelled at me and said that i need to stop being gay and if i dont then im to not talk to her ever again, then she became mute and was crying to herself for the rest of the night, the next day she called me home from school and wanted to discuss what i had told her, i mean at the time she was supportive interms of listening but as i started to reveal more to her about how it came abouts and other details like my past relationships etc. she paused me mid way and said that i needed to go see a therapist to cure the gayness out of me but said that she supported me either way i mean i understood that she was probably new to this so i chose to give her space but for the rest of the night she was totally cool with it, little did i know what i was in for, just the other day she came into my room while i was doing my homework and told me that she went ahead to book an appointment to the doctors and i told her to get out of my room and not to talk to me ever again expecting her to see that im clearly hurt over the decision she made along with lying about saying that she was going to support me when in reality she didn't instead all she does is talk down on gay people and tell my brother that this is a result of me thinking that i can make any decision i want on my own and no matter how many times i tell her its not a flipping decision yet she chooses to believe that it is. i mean granted that i need to be patient with her and give her time but i mean i dont know what im to do with someone that consistently believes they're right i mean ughhh im just sooooooo frustrated


elph's picture

Please... more "periods"... and maybe a few paragraphs... :)

So... you do have an appointment... or, maybe not?

You know... you could swing this to your advantage if the "doctor" is truly an accredited adolescent psychologist. If you're entirely open with him/her, I strongly suspect that he'll "come down" on your side!

He'll recognize that it is your mom who needs to understand that your being gay is something for which you almost certainly had no choice!

Once you and the therapist develop some rapport, prevail upon him/her to explain the facts of life to your mom!

FlyflewAway's picture

i concur with elph

you also have to see thing in terms of that your mom hasnt gone through anything like this before so she doesnt know how to help you and if shes doing this properly and what a good parent not just a good parent but a great parent...would do in tough situation. I dont think anyone has written a guidebook for the very confused parents whose children have come out.

I don't think ive ever read a good coming out story but thats what oasis is here for so that you can let it all out. I think you are handling things well but also just keep reminding yourself to be patient with her and put urself in her shoes and the way she sees you.

The young ones always have the most trouble because most parents do misunderstand being gay as a choice. My Mom was sure that i was going through a phase and that eventually id meet a guy and fall in love with him.

p.s keep us fellow oasistians updated =)

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
The you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt - Tbs