I'd been meaning to write a journal since the longest but I couldn't because in a fit of rage I threw my laptop at my brother. And now I'm using the computer.
Where do I begin?
This saturday I told mother I wanted to kill myself. We had a long conversation that was helpful. It helped and now I'm going to see another therapist and start taking medications again.
Today we went to the counseling place early in the morning because mother works at the factory from 12 - 11 or later. We waited for an hour because the place wasnt open. And she told me whatever my sexuality is, she'll still love me and support me and want me to be happy. I just smiled but couldn't say anything.
A few weeks ago family from my dad's side came over for a barbecue and we had fun. Around 1 am mother, sister, dad, and my uncle were drunk as a skunk and I was watching reds and sister calls me to go discuss who gets the property he has in Mexico. I knew it'd be my siblings and I but it's an issue cause my grandma lives in it when she goes south.
My dad's a drunk, I think I mentioned it before, so my sister starts opening up about how she felt about my dad and the pain she went through because of him. And I started talking too and now I think our rocky relationship is becoming little by little stable.
I think I can start being happy