Last night I went to a party and it was awesome. I was the first one to arrive so it was awkward until one of my best friends came and then Nico came, I got nervous and felt awkward until I went to another table. Everything was great and then the bar started giving shots, I drank one, then my friends gave me more and I got tipsy and I started talking to many people and started hugging them (Nico was one of them). My best friend and I got the cute stare that is like "You're such a cute couple" and gossip spread. After a while I was kinda drunk and my best friend that's super shy was tipsy and told me "You should go and talk to Nico and do whatever your drunk brain tells you to do!" And my drunk brain though that it was a good idea. After I got the balls to do it I saw Nico outside the dance flier and asks him if he wanted to talk, but he said that he couldn't right now because his best friend passed out in the dance floor. His best friend passed out intoxicated and his heart stopped beating so he got CPR until he got ok. The party continued and I drank more because I was gaining consciousness and asked Nico if we could go and talk outside, once outside we went far from the music and people and I was drunk again, Nico asked me what was the thing that I was going to tell him, I was nervous and told him that I didn't know if I should tell him, but he said that it was ok and that I already told him, after hearing that I wrapped my arms in his neck and told him that he was a wonderful person, a super sexy gorgeous guy and stuff like that, I realized that I was hugging him and buried my face in his neck, then I asked him if I could kiss him (I hate myself for asking it), kissed his check, but he told me that he couldn't do it, he actually said "Dany, I can't do it, I seriously can't" and I asked him why and told me that he has a girlfriend, After that we went back inside and danced some super popular music here and the dance is super sexual and the girl goes in front of the guy, moving her hips, while the guy goes behind super close almost touching or touching following her hips; I've never danced that way until tonight and it was awesome; while we were dancing the police arrived and took my drunk friend, but no one have a fuck and continued dancing.
Other things: my parents think that I had some little coctels with no alcohol, I'm back to cutting, again I'm super moody, and I'm confused with Nico (again) ugh!