My namesake. Just found out it was...

hellonwheels's picture

...Fu Manchu.

Love those guys. Been one hell of week in seattle. Been to 4 shows in one week, all of whom were awesome. Beyond awesome. Missing out on a good one tonight as well, but I have spent far too much on music, Cd's, merch, and tickets in the last few weeks.

Gone two months w/o drinking, which is awesome. been going to the gym and getting back in shape too. Back up to running 5k, or about 3-4 miles w/o resting or stopping, got back out on the bike this week. Felt great, but was also humbling as well, as I am super out of cycling shape on my single speed, and the 20-ish miler I did the other day kicked my arse, to say the least.

Last night, I went out to see my friends in witchburn, an awesome local metal/rock and roll band that will soon be known internationally, already on a nation basis-they toured w/ dio's band just before he passed, and play w/ big acts all the time.

It was mischa monster's (their guitarist femme fatale) birthday last night, so it was even crazier than normal at the show.

I also bought the Heist, by local mc macklemore. I had listened to some of his stuff before, but on my birthday this year, he played a live show and I heard his song w/ mary lambert, same love....freaking amazing. SO much on this record I can feel. Everything from addiction and alcoholism redemption, failing, love, hate,'s awesome. I recommend going out and buying it.

Also, the writer, as well as cellist and singer on the track, mary, I met recently through a friend in seattle. She has an amazing story, and hers is fairly similar to mine as far as fighting w/ religion and her family and things like that over the years. Check her out @ bio.
also, scope this

both worth checking out. best album I have bought all year, except maybe the walking papers EP and the spittin' cobras. Love those guys too.

Anyway, yesterday, I awoke to a text message from an old 5:45 in the morning. Someone who although fairly close to me, we rarely see each other anymore other than in passing because our school and work schedules never line up. Which sucks.

She was in Philly visiting some schools for her future college plans, and she forgot about the three hour time difference, so I got a bit of a rude awakening. lol. But it was in response to my comments on macklemore's facebook page about a young, gay teen who had just comitted, or more accurately, attempted, suicide down south of me in Oregon.

Out of all 380+ comments, only two were of a negative nature, and the majority of them were positive in mentioning gays and bolstering gay youth.

Now, it normally wouldn't be something I would think would get that reaction, but teresa has been posting sooo many things this year about "i'm a devout catholic, and I support marriage, Noh8 campaign, equality, and all kinds of subtle hints that made me sort of think she was a lesbian, because those things seemed contrary to her family and especially her parents way of thinking-they are conservative, to say the least....

Anyway, she came out to me...random text, early in the AM. I would share it with you word for word, but it got partially deleted from my phone on accident-inbox data limits be damned!- and I lost it. But effectively, it said there was something that had been weighing on her mind for a long time, something she had known about and wanted to share w/ me for a long time....and there it was....plain as day. 'I'm Gay'.

Took me a minute or two to think up a response, as I was half-awake anyway-could barely read my phone and i had that annoying stuff on my eyelids you wake up w/ sometime.

In response, all I could type was "I know." something else followed, and before she could respond, and before I could even think about it, I typed "I am too."

To which I received an "Omg, you're Gay?!?!? What? I guess I don't know you as well..." etc, kinda went on in that fashion, but we have been conversing back and forth via text all day while she has breaks away from her pop and mom in Philly. So that has been an interesting, sometimes agonizing gap...everything from seconds to hours. lol.

But it's good in some ways. Now she knows, and is one of probably 23 people who know for sure, now. confirmed, that I am a homo. I don't really know how to feel about that.

It does seem odd though that so many kids I know are actually secretly gay.

During the bulk of our conversation today, many topics came up, including when did you know?, how old were you when? Who have you told? I'll keep your secret if you keep mine it's definitely good to have another friend in the know, and someone who I can openly talk to about LGBT issues, as long as her dad and mom aren't around.

It's funny though-I would have thought she would have been one of the people at the local community college pushing for the GSA that never actually came to be, or at least, that never responded to my e-mails or met when or where they said they would.

Anyway, some very serious topics were covered, and lots about me she didn't know was found out inside a very short period of time, so that may have been good or bad. All I can say is, I am still here, still fighting, and still tryin' to make it through this rollercoaster ride that we call life.

and I will leave you with this an awesome video that got some more respect from me for this band than I had even before, and they were awesome before I saw this. Love rise against!

without further ado:

that is all for now.



FlyflewAway's picture

i liked reading this, lots of personality =p

when i read this its like we were sitting at a starbucks and you were telling me, i could hear ur voice clearly in my head. So my fellow emeraldian, congrats on your new LGBT friend, =] mm i think thats all i have to say sorry i cant seem to type as much as you can but i will try harder next time ooo oo
and congrats on ur soberness I too have stopped smoking dope going on 2 months and as tempting as it may be ill stick to respecting my body, im planning on getting one of those carbonation machines at best buy or something because i really think it will help me cut off the beer as well =) okay ttyl

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
The you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt - Tbs