Teen Problems

Spiketail34's picture

Dear Journal,

To a lot of high school students our final year must go out with a bang-whether that means getting a whole new wardrobe, showing a side that people never thought to have seen of you or getting a date for all the social events that are going on that graduating students would most definitely want to take part in. Now, the main problem is that although it’s nice to go to these events with your closest friends and create the best of memories with them, a small part of me wishes that I do that with a potential partner.

Though you may be thinking to yourself ‘Well, why not just go out there and start asking people out?’ It’s hard enough fearing rejection and having to step out of your comfort zone to ask someone out, but when you're gay…its a heck of a lot harder as you have to figure out how you're to approach a person. For example, whether they’re out or not, do they like you, is it safe for me to ask them out and how are they going to react to what I have to say. All this leads to one question-whether or not it’s worth it. Whenever faced with this question, I fall into the trap of saying the same answer and that is "No". Why, may you ask? Well is fear a viable answer?

I’ve always been a reserved/ introverted type of person and stepping out of my comfort zone and risk getting hurt doesn’t sound like a realistic approach to me. Although the possibility of stepping out of my cave and see, experience, learn, and grow or I could remain in this cave where things are safe, cozy, predictable, and be trapped in the same state of mind. The answer seems pretty obvious once it’s written down on paper but its acting on that that's the problem.

Comments

Bosemaster42's picture

Yeah,

It's easier said than done. Of course, I have great respect for many of the younger kids coming out early. I could only wish I had been that brave.
Rejection sucks, but it is one thing I've never taken too personal. It's part of life and that's how you have to approach it.
Don't even concern yourself with 'going out with a bang'. The majority of people you're in school with now, will fade away from your life. I've only kept in touch with a select few people from my school days. Just enjoy the rest of your final year, things will improve after graduating.

Spiketail34's picture

Yea i guess its just hard

Yea i guess its just hard seeing/ having friends that are going with their boyfriends and i mean no matter how many times they say that it'll be fun having all of us there together a good 90% of the time i will feel as though im the third wheel or worse preventing them from having the time to remember with the one they're with. although... i guess theres always the option of not going

elph's picture

Lacking confidence in oneself...

can be an onerous burden!!!

You've already recognized (last paragraph of your journal, above) that you are very reserved when participating socially.

And... as you have alluded, it truly is not easy for you to escape this pattern on your own without outside help/guidance.

I do not know how large or well-staffed your school is... but, if you have a health or non-academic counseling section, I'd "gather up" all the determination you can find and speak with them concerning your hesitancy to participate socially with your peers.

The fears you have are very common amongst teens... and these fears can be further exacerbated if you know that you are likely gay... and somewhere in your upbringing you have likely (wrongfully) internalized that gays are not worthy of having friends or sharing of affections...

This is a "crock!" But, it probably will require the help of a professional to help you escape this "trap."

Muster the determination... and seek that help!

Please! You deserve to enjoy being a teen; being gay should not hinder you!