radiosilence95's picture

My braces are gone now. I've had them since freshman year, nearly four years. Feels weird, man. My mouth feels naked without them. My teeth are nice and straight, I can eat corn off the cob and chewy caramel and other delightful foodstuffs. However, I have to wear my retainer for a ridiculous length of time. It'll be going to college with me. Yay. I've been told that if I choose not to wear it my teeth will move back to where they were before the braces and thousands of precious dollars will be wasted. Ultimatums. Yay.

My sister stood up for me on the issue of my grandparents and their blatant homophobia. I love her. She said to my mom, "I'm sure it hurts Jenna's feelings when she hears Grandma say homophobic things."

My mom then turned to me and asked me if I wanted them, my grandparents, to know, and I still haven't a clue. I just don't wanna deal with them at all. So I told her that.

"You're just going to have to accept that they're entitled to their own opinions. They have a right to think that way, even if you don't agree with it," was her response.

Thanks Mom. Good to know you have my back.

In other news, Brittany and her boyfriend are back together. Their break-up only lasted for about a week, if that. Whatever. I don't care nearly as much as I once did. That is the only commentary I have to offer on the subject.

My life consists of school and books and video games from the turn of the century, namely Paper Mario. God damn it I love that game. Sure it's childish, but it was my life when I was a wee lass, and the sentiment remains. I pretty much use my Wii just to play older Mario games. The nostalgia is too powerful.

Books. I'm currently trudging through A Tale of Two Cities. Charles Dickens is a rambler for sure. But the rambling in this one isn't quite as bad as Oliver Twist. And the storyline is more interesting. Lotta characters to keep track of though. I heard that Charles Dickens was an asshole father. Didn't really like his own children. I don't know if that's true or not, but that would be a shame. He's not my all-time favorite author, but I respect his work.

I am also reading How To Create A Mind by Ray Kurzweil, which is a book about the mind, obviously. He proposes that the brain is far less complicated than we'd like to think, and breaks down how the mind functions, and how we can use the workings of the mind to create super computers far more technologically advanced than our current ones. There's a lot more talk about technology than I wanted, but it's still very intriguing. Some stuff goes totally over my head, but I get most of it.

After I finish these, I shall begin reading The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, which is like an intro to Buddhism. It was written by a monk who was nominated for a Nobel Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr. himself. Pretty neat dude. His name is Thich Nhat Hanh, and I have no clue how to pronounce that. I'll also start reading Brave New World by Mr. Aldous Huxley, another dystopian novel about a society in which people are pumped full of drugs to ensure social order, so I'm sure I'll love it.

So yeah. I missed the second GSA meeting yesterday because of an appointment with my therapist, and I'm not sure I wanna go to the third. It just seems like it's intended to be a support group rather than advocacy group that spreads the message of tolerance. And I don't really need that. Plus the mass of sophomores who all know each other makes me feel uncomfortable and out of place.

Funny. Even in a club designed for gay people, I STILL feel out of place.


Super Duck's picture

I hated my retainer. They

I hated my retainer. They never told me a set amount of time that I was supposed to wear it. I wore it all day and all night for like a year, then only at night for like 2 and a half more years, and then I decided to stop and my teeth are still fine. Congrats on getting your braces off, by the way. It's the best feeling!

radiosilence95's picture

It does feel very wonderful.

It does feel very wonderful. That's a terribly long time to wear a retainer, three and a half years. There's no way I'm wearing mine all throughout college. What a pain in the ass that would be.

jeff's picture


Didn't you think you wouldn't fit in at the GSA before you went for the first time, though? Usually things conspire to meet your expectations. Sounds like it worked in this case...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

radiosilence95's picture

Well, I tried going into it

Well, I tried going into it without any solid expectations. There are no seniors, nobody I even kind of know, and I don't need a support group for my sexuality. Developmentally I'm beyond these people, so I don't see a reason for me to go anymore.

elph's picture

Yeah... you're ready for college!

I hope you've checked out their LGBT organization and activities?

radiosilence95's picture

I know they've got a great

I know they've got a great LGBT group, I just haven't done a lot of research on it yet. I don't know what they do exactly. A quick Google search should give me the answers I'm looking for, though.

jeff's picture


It's sort of like on Oasis. Sometimes people come to me when they are thinking of leaving the site, and I always give them two options:
- Leave, because you got everything out of it that you could
- Stay and help others that are now in the same place you once were.

Both are valid options.

So, if you want it to be something different, you can make it that. You can also use your remaining time there to work with the younger students to help make any permanent change that can help the even-younger students who aren't even showing up until next year feel welcome and safer when they do.

If you're older, you know the system better. You can speak with administration more authoritatively. You can work with everyone to leave your school safer, more inclusive, and more tolerant than you found it.

A lot of GSAs have peaks and valleys, and it might have a lot of people now, but then dry up in two years. So, how can you harness what is going on now to change it for the better?

Can you do a book drive? Write to GLBT publishers and such to get books donated and open a special LGBT section of the school library. You can also help out like this online, start a kickstarter for something and then post about it on alumni lists for your school on Facebook, etc.

Bring in a speaker or performer to speak about LGBT topics. It's often cheaper than you think.

If a freshman is starting in the fall, what hurdles would he or she face on day one, and what could you do to remove them now?

Or, like I also tell people who think of leaving Oasis, you can just leave and move on with your own adventure...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

lonewolf678's picture

I know this has been said,

but congratulations on being done with the braces. :-)

radiosilence95's picture


It feels wonderful. Definitely a self-esteem booster, too.