hey can some people help me out? Ive been under alot of distress recently about who I am. I dont know if Im gay of Bi, or even straight. My sexuality feels like its changing. Like about two weeks ago I was constantly thinking about women. I was thinking about how beautiful they were. I loved everything about them. In fact during a festival that weekend I was over my friends house, and he has this foreign exchange student from saudi arabia and shes very pretty. She usually ignores me but this time she was talking to me, she made me some kind of tea. I was showing her songs on the guitar and teaching her how to play. So she showed me a song on her phone, and I was litsening and notced her breasts, which was one of the first times i ever had the urge to suck on her breasts. Im not sure if this is appropriate for this site but I dont know how else to describe the events.
Well we were watching a movie and she fell asleep on my lap and I had an erection like crazy. I really liked her and shes really nice. I never had a girl like me before. They usually like my friend. The day previously I was trying to accpet that I may be gay or at least have a gay side. Well two things happened with women that weekend. I unfortunately didnt get lucky :p. Well I drank only a little bit, I wasnt drunk at alll, maybe a little buzzed but barely could feel it. It kind of made relax. Im usually always nervous around women. Well then there was another thing that night with my other friends mom. She sorta wild. She grinded with me or something on my penis and I got an erection. I would never have sex with my friends mom but I kept thinking about it. When she grinded on me it felt so good. So you think Im straight right?! or Bi?! well right now I have no interest in women. The only men I ever get sexual urges for are close friends. I never ever act on them. They dont know about my confusion with my sexuality. When ever I watch porn I just fantasize about an unknown guy. and the thing is I experiment with anal and I kinda like it. and I fantasize about giving oral. So now Im gay right? or bi?
Well now heres how my love interest goes. Ive never been in a relationship with anyone before or had sex. When I watch porn I usually fatasize about the girls. Especially being a girl so I could make out with another girl and have that girl bang me. and heres another that I always think about, being a girl and being with a man. and giving oral and being submitted. I only sometimes fatasize about being a man with a woman.
I think I may love my bestfriend, but I dont know yet. We are writing a movie together. In the 8th grade I had a crush on a girl I really liked. then
in the 11th grade I had a crush on a girl but just didnt know what to do. I thought she wouldnt like me or would think I was ugly.
Im just really confused. I hate how my sexual interests in women are so on and off. some times its like that with guys where im like eww. but with women i never go eww. Im just really confused.
If I ever came out as Bi or gay or straight, I would never fit into a community. Im constantly afraid that Im gonna be gay which my family would never support. I dont know who I am anymore. Im afraid of being femminine. Im not femmine but Im not that masculine either. I just sound like a kid. Only when I get very pissed or serious about somethng do you hear the "man in me". I love being a man. I think about my sexuality to much to the point where it gets me depressed. why cant i be normal. I dont really fit in with any communities.