Marlboro No. 27

ElsaGabor's picture

It feels so wrong not filling my voids with the touch of another man. It was always my first instinct. Replace pain, anguish with tactile sensation. The smooth skin of another man as he made love to me was so gratifying, so emptily yet perfectly satisfying. I miss the touch, I miss the adventure, I miss the excitement. But now all I'm left with is nicotine and fleeting satisfaction. I'm trying to find my way back to the higher road, but I can't help but feeling I belong on the lower path. Why do I desire such greatness, yet aspire to destroy my own prospects?


jeff's picture


What are you doing to "fill your void" properly then?

I also think there is a mindset issue at play. I mean, I don't have a lot of random sexual encounters (sadly), but when I do, I never think of them as empty or something to eradicate the pain of life. Just beautiful diversions... although I've also lucked into hooking up with pretty open, intimate people where it didn't seem either party was being used, etc.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles