emilikee's picture

It is 12:12. i can't sleep so i am going to write.
As the weekend dawns, so does the longing for someone who knows and understands me. Every weekend, i get that loneliness that eats away at me.
Sometimes, if it is nice, i will go into the pool area in my backyard and skateboard. I wouldnt dare skateboard in public, i'm not even remotely good at it. Sometimes, i'll go for a bike ride. Those always end quick. My bike is one of the oldest, heaviest things. I thought bicycles were made for transportation. My bike goes slower than a turtle.
I will do those things sometimes but 97 percent of the time, i am in my room. To pass time and distract my mind from being lonely I, stare at the ceiling, watch Netflix series on my computer until i feel as though my eyes might fall out. Draw, paint, jam out on my guitar. Read, write, practice trigonometry.
My weekends are filled with loneliness and boredom. And just wait for summer...

Today, i woke up at 12 in the afternoon. Kind of early for me.
I actually did something today. I walked the boardwalk with my sister and my grandma and my dog Bailey. It was 40 minutes but it was something.
I ate so much today. I don't know why. I need to stop overeating. Being fat sucks.

I would like to sing “I won't give up” to someone one day, if i get good at singing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iXBPy9Y3HI It is a good song for me and Sam right now. Saying that i will never give up on my crush. This song is making me cry right now She has no idea how much i like her...

*Changed people's names for reasons of being more anonymous*


elph's picture


And... I can feel your restlessness. I know the feeling... oh, so well! But have no better solution than yours.

So 12:12... that makes me guess UK?

emilikee's picture

East coast of america

haha no. I live in new jersey ;)

poetic_star's picture


it's good that you found the motivation to go out. I also did something today, which might not seem like a big deal to other people but it made me feel better knowing I got through it, especially when this type of thing gives me anxiety. anyway, good job and I'm here if you want to talk :)