homeschool, friends, debate, and such

Ann's picture

I don’t think I mentioned this in my last journal entry, but I’m homeschooled. I’m part of a local group of homeschoolers, and tonight the teens of the group were supposed to go roller skating, but it got cancelled because not enough people were interested in going. So, I thought I’d make another journal entry.
In the past couple of years most my friends and the kids I liked hanging out with in this group have left for public/private school or just don’t get involved with this group anymore. I have a couple of friends, but most of the kids are just really starting to get on my nerves. There this one group of immature, catty girls who cause drama. I’m wondering if I should stay with the group for two friends there who I kind of enjoy hanging out with, or leave just for my own sanity.
I’m also a part of a homeschool debate and speech league. I’ve been doing that for about three years now. That’s where I met Beth, and her siblings Dave and Sara. They’re involved in the homeschool group as well, but not that actively. Anyways, this debate and speech league is also a Christian homeschool league, and I’m an atheist. Our debate and speech club is run by Beth, Dave, and Sara’s mother and father, the latter of which also runs their ministry. That usually doesn’t cause any problems, except a couple of times I’ve been asked to open a debate round up in prayer and had no idea how to do that, let alone didn’t really want to do that.
In my debate & speech club, I’ve been there the longest but I don’t really do that well at tournaments. I know it should be about having fun, but when half of the club breaks to regionals and I’m stuck at home cheering them on from there, it’s kind of a downer.
I lived in the suburbs from when I was a baby till I was nine and then I moved to a more rural, country community. After a couple of years in their schools my parents decided to homeschool me because some of the teachers emotionally unstable and the education was pretty inadequate. Anyways, when I was thirteen I joined the homeschool group. When I was fourteen I joined the debate speech club. So for a while I was constantly being the new kid in the group. Also, I’ve always had friends but my friendships were based more the fact that I got along well with certain people and not so much that we had common interests. But then I met Beth and I finally made a friend who I had a lot of common interests with. Someone I could talk for hours on end with. We were, and are best friends. Then I started to notice I wanted to be more than friends with her, and that lead me to discover I like girls as well as guys, thus found out I’m bi.
After my last entry some of you pointed out that just because her parents are homophobic doesn’t mean she’s homophobic, which I guess could be true. But how do I even broach that topic? “Hi, Beth, how’s your first year of college? Oh, that’s nice, hey, are you by any chance homophobic?” I guess I could ask her what her opinion is of same sex marriage, but I’ve known a couple of people who were accepting of their gay friends but didn’t approve of gay marriage. I’m also really good friends with her siblings, Dave and Sara, so I’m kind of afraid if I ruin my friendship with Beth I’ll ruin my friendship with them too.


jeff's picture


Sounds like you know how already, but honestly, people who are accepting of their gay friends, but not marriage equality, are not really accepting of their gay friends. ;-)

Ultimately, what you learn is that friendships that need deception and lies in order to continue aren't really friendships. They are baggage you don't need to move forward.

The main advice, of course, is you being bi and you crushing on Beth are two separate things that should be revealed at two separate times. Usually her reaction to you being into chix will be enough to gauge whether there's any point to even mentioning the crush.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles