i want to stop masturbating

Eke's picture

Early January thas year, 2013, I introduced myself to the world of masturbation.. First I loved it. I'm 14 by the way. Then I started feeling guilty about it, I felt like if I just died, I'the go to hell.. I tried my best to stop but I just colud not.. So please if you have any tips.. Do share..

Comments

jeff's picture

Well...

Welcome to Oasis...

I run the site and you should know that anything you post here is scanned by Google, and anything on your profile page is not. I just put your Facebook link there for your safety.

Of course, one of the best way to not stay safe online is saying I'm 14, I love to masturbate, and here's how to contact me in real life. So, I would recommend removing the Facebook profile, personally.

That's not really a tip on how to stop masturbation. I guess my advice there would be to get a boyfriend. Easy fix.

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"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Bosemaster42's picture

Masturbating,

is perfectly normal. It's kind of the first step to sexual discovery. The guilt your feeling is probably related to your religious beliefs. Sometimes kids your own age will say shit, usually negative, making you second guess your own habits. I can assure you, they are 'doing it' as well.

swimmerguy's picture

I realize

you certainly don't want me to just unhelpfully tell you what you don't believe: that it's normal.
For myself personally, I've tried, multiple times, to stop masturbating for a month, in order to learn perhaps a speck of sexual restraint, something I tend to lack.

From those experiences, I can give you this advice.
Beyond the piecemeal things to avoid every day, the overarching thing to realize is that the hardest part to stop masturbating is your mind.
Of course, being in the middle of trying to stop masturbating, of course the first place your mind goes all the time is immediately to masturbating. So you have to occupy yourself the entire day with other things, and realize that the battle is fought entirely in your mind: no matter how determined you are, you'll fail physically if you can't control yourself mentally.
If you're very serious about this, you can try fasting as well, as that certainly takes your mind off things, but be careful if you feel your blood sugar going down.

Another thing to make it easier is to think of it as not denying yourself masturbation forever, that's a daunting task, but as denying yourself masturbation just today, and then the next day, the same thing, and then so on and so on.

Finally, and probably most importantly, if you do fail, don't be ashamed. If you can't tell, this is a very hard thing to do, and it's totally natural to fail a few times. Being ashamed about it will be horrible for you and totally counterproductive to your task. Mild disappointment maybe, but shame and guilt are very bad.
This site might help you, I don't know if you are LDS, but this site is mostly dedicated to people around your age trying to stop masturbating:
http://www.ldsteenhelp.com/masturbation_addiction.php

If you're willing to consider it, my personal advice would be: I made it 9 days, the longest I lasted on the multiple times I tried. I don't know what your religion is, but it sure doesn't say much in the Bible about masturbation, which is odd, considering how common of an activity and potential sin it is.
Stopping masturbation is possible, very difficult but possible, and you probably won't suffer really any health consequences if you succeed, but personally I view trying to stop as not the wisest use of my limited energy.

elph's picture

Ditto to what others have said (above).

Feeling guilt will destroy you psychologically.

And I totally agree with you: It is enjoyable! And the only reason to deny yourself these escapes is if you choose to believe the malarky spread by sources which have the goal of controlling every aspect of your life!

That advice is so wrong: You're not going to die prematurely; in fact, frequent orgasms may actually contribute to a longer span of healthy life.

What you do need to exert control over is that you should pursue this satisfying release in private... either alone or with a totally willing and trusting partner.

In addition to swimmerguy's link (above)... please peruse the following:

http://news.menshealth.com/masturbate-every-day/2011/12/29/

http://www.menshealth.com/health/health-and-sexual-benefits-masturbation

and, this one which I hope you'll be able to access without being a subscriber:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn4861-frequent-ejaculation-may-prot...

****

Now that that issue has been buried... WELCOME to Oasis, and I hope that you stick around!

Uh... P.S. Just one example of how normally masturbation is now treated... I attended a live play on a college campus last weekend in which the opening line was, "I masturbate in the shower." Those in attendance were not only other college students, but older friends and parents as well!

Now... I'd suggest a venue a bit less furtive and more relaxing than the morning shower... but... :)

jeff's picture

Eh...

Personally, after a few minutes, I usually find masturbation boring. It's weird. One minute I'm totally into it, and the next it seems like a huge waste of time... and that happens every time?!

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"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

elph's picture

Boy! I hope I don't have that to look forward to... :)

Maybe you've found a more rewarding means of soothing a raging libido?

Bosemaster42's picture

I always loved this bit,

http://youtu.be/oDd8fMwGcBI "How about a nice, quiet candlelit dinner for one" and "Be coy with yourself, say No! I don't wanna!" I think I almost fell on the floor the first time I heard his take on 'Teenage Masturbation'.
Friggin hilarious.

Eke's picture

thanks, you all

I will most definitly visit those links and continue to post my problems on this site... I just hope I could find another guy about my age with the same problem so we could help each other.. contact me on face book pleeeease if you are goin thru this problem I'm a christain

jeff's picture

Err...

As I said before, links to Facebook and e-mail, etc., need to go on your profile page, lest people (like me) start to think that is just a spam Facebook account meant to gather information. To do that click My Account at the top of the screen, and you'll see where I put your Facebook info earlier.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

elph's picture

Something that will continue to plague you...

is holding to a very rigid concept of what being Christian requires of you... particularly if your indoctrination in the faith requires you to adhere to "facts" that do not pass scientific scrutiny!

At some point you will have to employ your own mental faculties to decide what is in your best interest... psychologically!

Eke's picture

o.. ok Jeff

Thanks for letting me know

LostSouls's picture

wow

I can relate to the whole masturbation guilt thing. I have two friends (brothers) who are part of our gay support group and thier parents are real hard core Christians. Their dad gives them surprise "self abuse" inspections, makes them take cold showers, and they're not allowed to close the door when they use the bathroom. The punishment for having a wet dream is severe!

There's lots of Christian boys here who have knocked girls up and were forced to get married, and maybe that could have been prevented by not making them feel guilty about something most boys do?

My dad's talked to me and my bothers about this, and all he said was it's okay to do it just not in the shower with the water running.

I'd find somewhere private to do it if you want, and just think of it was something most guys do. I don't see any reason to torture yourself over this.

By the way, I'm a Christian too, and so is my entire family.

Alex

LostSouls are four gay friends-Alex, Dalton, Chase, & Jake-who ended up being stepbrothers by dumb luck. We are also a support group for four other gay kids who have to keep their sexuality a secret. We live in the Bible Belt, which explains a lot.