Sam's Easter post made me start thinking a little more about my own struggles with weight, and I though I'd write a little bit about them.
When I tell people about my weight problems they think I'm just trying to get attention, or that I have a mental problem. But I'm not--I really do have a problem, it's real, and I have to find a way to fix it.
You see, I have a problem that America doesn't know exists. I'm too skinny. Not anorexic or anything--just too skinny. I weigh 97 lbs on a good day. My metabolism just goes too fast for me to keep up with it. I'm fifteen, haven't grown since Thanksgiving, and have been wearing the same bra size (almost the smallest there is) for the last four years.
It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have scoliosis. My back curves pretty severely, and since I'm so skinny I can't wear anything tight without looking lopsided (the curve is like a C, so one side appears to have more of a hip than the other). My doctors keep telling me that I just have to gain some weight and no one will be able to see it, but I can't! More weight would also make it so that my back could support itself, which would make the pain in it go away and improve my posture.
I honestly don't know what to do. I'm so ashamed of the way I look, with my lopsided back and flat chest. Everyone tells me "If you gain some weight it will all be better!" But I just can't seem to do it, no matter how much more food I eat for lunch. I even lost a few pounds a year or two ago. I'm afraid that I'm going to fade away.