The Importance Of Giving Feedback

Sam2000's picture

I've realized that life gives you feedback in many ways, and that feedback is very important.

The grades you get in school serves as feedback for you efforts and reinforces what you know (and don't know). It tells you if you're study habits are paying off or not.

If you have a job, your feedback is what you get paid, how you're thought of and treated by coworkers and your customers.

The feedback I want to focus on today is the comments Oasis readers give each journal, or the lack thereof.

Since there are no page counters for each journal, it's only possible to know if anyone is reading what you write by the comments given at the end of each entry. A good amount of comments tells you that what you write here matters, especially if it triggers a healthy debate.

No comments, on the other hand, makes you wonder many things.

Did what I write suck? Was it boring? Did it even DESERVE to be commented on?

I'll be the first to admit that while I read every journal entry on here, I don't get to leave comments as much as I'd like. The main reason is that I usually access Oasis on my iPhone, and since I'm not allowed to log in using my phone I often find myself torn between wanting to add my feelings and obeying my Dad's rules.

I've noticed a number of writers on here who submitted a few entries and then disappeared, and I wonder if they felt they were being ignored or that what the wrote didn't matter due to a lack of comments?

One goal I have this year is to be more active on here and also giving the vital feedback that my fellow Oasies deserve.

Remember, your feedback is more important that you may realize, and it can also change a life.

Sam

MaddieJoy's picture

you make a good point

I've thought about this as well. And I, for one, will definitely try to make more comments when I read people's journals.

jeff's picture

Yes and no...

People have raised the issue before about how one journal will get a lot of feedback and others will get none, etc.

But a lot of journals invite comments, and raise specific questions as part of the journal. I mean, if you tell a crazy story about a crush, and end it with "OMG, do you think I should text her?" that will get more comments than a story that is self-contained and ends with "Which is why I think I learned a valuable lesson."

Now, I do think there is value to feedback and, except for poetry, I try to respond to almost everything on here. But I think you can also write in a way to inspire more comments, as well.

As for counters, an older version of Oasis did have stats for the "most-read columns" on the site, but after a while, it became obvious that those columns would never get unseated, since the fact that they were already the most-read also inspired more people to read them, keeping them at the top of the charts forever.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Bosemaster42's picture

Actually,

I too have wondered the same thing. Perhaps, it's the timing? I usually try to respond to as many posts as I can, especially if I sense the person is reaching out for help. There are times I won't respond to certain things if I don't feel I have something positive to contribute. I know most of the poems I've posted received very little in the way of comments, which is somewhat annoying because I love the feedback, even if it's negative.
And, yes I really mean what I say. I am curious though, Jeff, why don't you like to comment on poetry? Just curious.

jeff's picture

heh...

We've covered the poetry thing already in pm.

Yeah, I've often been busted for picking one random thing to comment on, on a journal with no comments, since I really had nothing I wanted to comment on, but I wanted them to get some comment. heh.

There could be timing, a lot of people who are on the site around the same time often end up giving one another feedback more often. Not sure if that is related to them also sending pm's while they are on here, or just because they can see those people are still online, etc.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Bosemaster42's picture

Yeah,

I appreciate the clarification. I thought it was likely not your cup of tea, which is understandable. You were also probably correct about some people getting defensive about comments and such. How else would you know if a poem is good or not, unless you're willing and thick-skinned enough to handle the critique? I guess I'll always have Keith and poetic_star to rely on.

jeff's picture

Well...

Most of my behavior on here is based on prior experience, not guesswork.

One user hated me for a long time after she posted lyrics and asked us to let her know if her song was any good. And, I said there is no way if we can tell if the song is any good from reading the lyrics, but I suppose we could review it as a poetic work (you know, since we didn't have the music, the melody, know the style, etc.), which seemed then and now as pretty reasonable, and that was enough to set her off how I had no right to say it wasn't a song. And she would just trash any of my comments to other people for months because I made fun of her song, etc., etc.

And since I didn't really want to read her lyrics or listen to her song, it sort of reinforced focusing on what I prefer to do on here instead. Much easier. ;-)

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

LostSouls's picture

Excellent Point

This was a really good point to make, and something that as a contributor on here will keep in mind. I have to sneak on here to post at home, but I'll do what I can in giving comments to the other writer's journals.

Alex

LostSouls are four gay friends-Alex, Dalton, Chase, & Jake-who ended up being stepbrothers by dumb luck. We are also a support group for four other gay kids who have to keep their sexuality a secret. We live in the Bible Belt, which explains a lot.