As promised this time I want to write about Dalton, and of my brothers he's really my boyfriend. This one isn't going to be fun for me to write.
When third grade started Chase and I were in separate classes because everything was done my last name. A-L and M-Z was the dividing point I think? We never saw each other except for on the bus and at home, but that helped us have our own friends.
I met Dalton the first day of school and we were instant friends. He was one of the tallest and biggest (fat) kids in my class and he stuck out. The first time I saw him I wanted to see him naked, I remember that very clearly. He's the kind of kid that usually get picked on, but what saved him was he could play football, and where we live that give you high status.
We live in a area where high school football is bigger than life itself, the only thing bigger is going to church, and in the fall that's questionable. If you want to find someone on a Friday night between August and September you go to the football stadium. People still talk about games that happened twenty years ago!
My brothers and I were all involved in youth football and Cub Scouts, but on different teams. Dalton and I played offense and defense and it took a lot out of us, physically more than anything.
Of the four of us, Dalton's also the shyest, it's really hard to get him to open up but when he does he's just the best friend you could ever have. In school we always ate together, and at recess we threw a football around or ran around the track. For a fat kid he could move!
I knew that he lived with Jake, and I though they were stepbrothers. He never talked about his dad, and I didn't want to ask. Eventually I started going over their house, and Chase and Jake had become really good friends so we spent a lot of time together. They lived in the really poor part of town, not ghetto but really poor white people in a trailer park. Most of the stereotypes are true.
Dalton told me he was going to visit some relatives for Thanksgiving break and he told me he really didn't want to go but he had to. When he came back to school he had a huge bruise on his face and was limping, and he told everyone he was in a bike accident. He wouldn't talk about his visit at all. As quiet as he was he became even quieter, and sometimes at his house we'd just sit together on the couch and watch tv and he wouldn't say much.
Chase and I always were affectionate we each other, and that comes from having a dad who believes in giving lots of hugs and shoulder rubs and thing like that. I started putting my arm around Dalton when we were hanging out and he would lean into me, and after a while we're rub each others shoulders just like Chase and I did. It felt so good I didn't ever want him to stop.
Right before Christmas, Dalton told me that Jake's mom wanted to adopt him, and I didn't know what to do or say so I just hugged him for a really long time. All he did was cry and it was bad. Eventually he told me how his dad was a truck driver how he used to beat him up all the time, and how one day he just dropped Dalton off at the police station and Jake's mom took him in.
I was a throwaway, Dalton told me.
I couldn't believe something like that could happen.
The night of the adoption hearing his mom invited my dad and I to a small celebration at the pizza buffet in town, and his mom introduced him with his new last name.
That was the first time my dad met his mom, and it was the start of a relationship that would eventually lead to their marriage.
After that Dalton changed, he became more open and most of his shyness went away, and we grew closer as friends, just as Jake and Chase became best friends. After a while the four of us spend most of our free time together, and my gay thoughts about Chase and Dalton just kept getting stronger no matter how hard I tried to pray them away.
One day something happened that changed everything, but that's for another journal.