I am officially done with high school as of tomorrow. It's honestly kinda hard to wrap my head around that fact. But it's over now. I survived what many consider to be the most socially awkward, horrifically embarrassing phase of human life.
I really haven't a clue how to sum up these past four years. I can't apply one simple adjective like "horrible" or "awesome" to this stage of my life. It wasn't either of those things. I have good memories to take from high school, and it blows my mind to think about just how much I've grown as a person. The girl I was freshman year is a different person than the young woman I am now. All that I've learned about human relationships, how the world works, the bookish knowledge I've gained...it's crazy. I learned about who I am, and that's pretty much what being a teenager is all about: getting comfortable in your own skin.
True, I was never the socially adventurous type. I never threw any insane house parties or accumulated 354 friends. And that's okay! I met some pretty cool people along the way, and even though I feel like most of my friendships have crumbled into mere acquaintanceship, the memories I have from those same people are ones I can still look back on with fondness. Some people say that the best years of their life were their high school years, but I know my best years are still ahead of me.
So that's my little fuck-high-school-I'm-an-adult-now speech.
This weekend is gonna be nice. I'm going to see my grandparents (on my dad's side) for the first time in pretty much a year. Being with them is so relaxing. Then my dad's taking me to my bowling tournament up by Chicago, and then we're gonna spend all Sunday hittin' the flea markets. I've been in antique shops but I've never been to a flea market. I love sifting through what seems like junk to many people. It's my dad's idea of bonding.
This summer is gonna be whatever I make of it. My only solid plans are to get a shit ton of reading done and be more sociable with ALL of my friends, not just the select two or three from last summer. I'll even spend time with the friends who require more patience. And also spend more time outdoors. And not sleep in until one in the afternoon. That's bad.
Also if my manager tries to schedule me 30+ hours a week just because it's summer we will have words. She's not fun to deal with. One time she got really mad at me because she asked if I wanted to work an extra SEVEN HOURS and I said no. That's like an eleven hour shift, man. She's a mean lady.
Also roller derby is a cool sport. I watched a...game? Match? Bout? a week ago and it was neat. Plus staring at athletic women is always a good time.
Also I am no longer seeing my therapist. I miss that woman. She was a friend, not a therapist. I know that's bad, but we're too similar. 'Tis uncanny.
Also paying for college is gonna be a bitch and it's starting to really stress me out. I mean I've been in this celebratory trance and now reality is bitch slapping me. I spent too much time thinking, "Fuck yeah I got accepted to a really upscale college now let me just sit here and imagine all the things I'll accomplish like making new awesome RELIABLE friends and dating a beautiful young lady and bettering myself academically" and not enough time thinking, "Well despite all the financial aid I received I still have around eleven thousand dollars to pay so what do?"
Okay. I'm done.