Better Things

Super Duck's picture

I've had an eventful past couple of weeks, I suppose. Guess whose last day of high school is May 8th!? MINE! And only Tuesday day is a full day. Monday is a half day, and Wednesday is like one class only. Graduation isn't until the week after next, but my last day of actual classes is the 8th. After that, there's only the AP English exam. And now I don't have to go into school until 10 a.m. because my dual enrollment class ended. It doesn't feel like this is actually happening to me, you know? I've been waiting for this shit to be over with for as long as I can remember, and now it's about to be, and I just can't wrap my brain around that. Soon, I won't be waiting anymore... I'll be really living. I move on September 1st! I got my BU email address on Friday! And I'm coming to University Orientation on July 10th. Everything feels so real now!

Some people in my class are sad. I don't know why. I mean, I'd say about 75% of my classmates are going to the same college, so it's not like they'll even have to miss each other. I think I'll really only end up staying in contact with 2 or 3 people from my class.

I was so sad around this time two years ago and last year because I was being left by FCG and then almost all of my friends, but I don't really feel anything now except the desire to get this shit over with already.

Anyway, I don't like that girl I've been mentioning in my past few posts that much anymore, thankfully. I mean, yeah, she is hot, but she said something that was just, like, wow... I mean, I think I have kind of a high tolerance for stupidity, but sometimes someone just says something so profoundly stupid that I just cannot deal with them for a while. And she's been kind of annoying lately anyway.

Okay, so, she was talking about her boyfriend, right? But, that's not the thing that was too stupid. She then started talking about her ex-boyfriends, and there was this one who was actually pretty cool. He used to go to our school for a few years, so I knew him. She's still on decent terms with him. But, he isn't really like most guys around here. Most guys where I live are into hunting, fishing, farming, that kinda thing, but this guy is, for lack of a better term, kind of a skater type dude? Anyway, according to the girl, the fact that he doesn't do that stuff means he is "feminine" which, in turn, means he's "not masculine enough to like girls." I thought she was kidding at first, like just to make fun of her ex or something, but it turned out she wasn't...

Like, there are so many things wrong with that. I just cannot even begin to wrap my brain around it. According to her logic, my dad is girly because he doesn't do any of that stuff. Yes, my dad is so girly because his big hobby is riding motorcycles rather than going fishing... which apparently also makes him gay. Someone had better tell his fiancee!

Also, "not masculine enough to like girls," she complains to me, her femme lesbian friend. Nice. I thought about saying, "Oh, so you have to be masculine to like girls, hmm?" just to see if it would get her to realize that was really dumb, but I decided not to since someone who has no idea I'm gay was nearby. But, now that I think about it, I guess it doesn't really matter if anyone overhears because I have like 3 days of school left anyway.

I got to see her boyfriend in person a few weeks ago, by the way. He looked dirty, wore a visor (not a hat, but a visor!) inside at night, and mainly communicated in grunts. What a winner.

She kept talking about how it was a massive turn-on that he's a "redneck" anyway. That's the exact terminology she used. (I didn't think "redneck" was meant to be a positive thing...?) I'm basically the opposite of him. If really macho "redneck" guys are what turns her on, then she definitely would never like a girl like me who loves big cities and kittens and flowery dresses! But, that's okay because I'm going to meet way hotter girls in Boston. Ones that actually like girls. There was a cute bi girl on one of the BU Facebook groups, so I'm sure there have to be some more somewhere around there, haha!

So, anyway, you guys know how I have a little sister, right? She is 10. She used to be a godawful little brat, but she's actually improved a lot. She's still kind of annoying sometimes, though. I used to not be allowed to tell her I'm gay, but my mom said she can know soon. She's kind of ambivalent about the whole gay thing. One day, she'll say that when she grows up, she wants to start an organization to stop gay kids from getting bullied, and then the next day, she'll say that having a gay sister would just be the worst. (My mom freaked out on her for saying that.)

Like I said, my sister is 10. As a 10 year old, she is in the target demographic for boybands like One Direction (which she loves... actually, "loves" is an understatement). So, she obsesses over all these celebrity guys, especially that One Direction guy with curly hair. But, she hates it because I "never like any famous people." (HAHAHAHA! If only she saw my Tumblr!) Last week, she kept begging me to tell her about any famous people I liked. So, I read her my list... which, of course, consists of only ladies. Sexy blonde ladies, generally. The kid wants me to talk celebrities? Fine. I'll tell her all about the newest addition to my list nonstop every single day, the same way she talks about her One Direction dude.

My sister seemed satisfied with my answers and asked no questions. Fast forward a couple days. She begins a sentence with, "I know no one in this car is gay, but..."

Hahaha. It reminds me of this one friend who has always refused to believe I'm gay and says stuff like, "I have a perfect gaydar. I can ALWAYS sense who's gay, every single time." Really? Every single time? Hmm.

Oh, recently, after the first showing of the senior play, a really hot girl invited me to a party at this other really hot girl's house. Naturally, I accepted. This isn't a thing I do a lot... I wasn't very cool for most of high school, so I rarely got invited to these things. But, hey, I was having car issues, so it wasn't like I'd be driving anywhere.

I was a smash hit. Like, seriously. Everyone was saying stuff like, "YOU'RE THE COOLEST GIRL IN OUR GRADE!" and "I LOVE SUPER DUCK OH MY GOD!" I don't even know why I was so popular. I didn't even actually get drunk, just a little bit buzzed. I remember everything that happened. All I really did was play games and say stupid stuff. But, apparently I'm hilarious? Also, the hot girl who hosted the party wanted hugs before I left, so that was also a definite plus.

So, yeah, I'm cool, apparently. It's a shame everyone only finds out that I'm awesome right before graduation!


radiosilence95's picture


Yeah that girl sounds like a complete idiot. And she reminds me so much of the girls who go to my school. Actually her and her boyfriend represent the majority of kids here in Illinois. The girls are bumbling morons who only think in black and white stereotypes, and the boys are all rednecks who hang American flags from their diesel trucks and think its cool to chug a Budweiser with friends after a long day hunting. It makes me nauseous.

Super Duck's picture

I don't understand what her

I don't understand what her problem is lately. She's been kind of annoying. Every once in a while, she'll be really sweet and normal and sane, but lately she mostly is either really dumb or just flat out mean for no reason.

Wow, I think you just described my school!

The trucks. Oh, god, the trucks. Almost every guy in my grade drives a really huge truck, and they think that means they can ignore parking space lines. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've been unable to get a decent parking space because some asshole in a truck 4 times the size of my car parked halfway in two spaces.

The only difference is that American flags aren't really that big here. I've actually never seen an American flag hung from a truck around here. Down here it's all about the Confederate flags. Everything else is spot on, though.

Bosemaster42's picture

Hey Duck,

Congrats on finally reaching the end of your four-year tour! Reality will sink in after they hand you your diploma. Good luck with your orientation.
It's interesting to see a person's true colors, with regard to the girl you spoke of. She sounds like a peach. You should set her 'straight' and tell her your a lesbian before you leave.
Oh shit! I drive a diesel 3/4 ton pick-up, no flags though. I know what you mean about people who take up two spaces, I see it all the time. Its usually because they have poor judgement skills or they're afraid someone will ding the paint. Unlike them, I don't worry about that, I use my truck all the time for hauling fieldstone and landscape materials. I never understood why some people drive pick-ups and never get them dirty.

Super Duck's picture

She is already aware. I just

She is already aware. I just don't think it ever really crosses her mind, though. That's how it is with most of the people who know.

Don't worry, my dad drives a truck too. (No flags!) He has to haul stuff for his work sometimes. I don't mind nice truck drivers, just the ones who can't park! I think a lot of the guys at my school shouldn't have big trucks because they don't actually use them for anything, and they clearly don't know how to park them. Some guys work on family farms, though, so I can see why they'd have them, but a lot of guys have them just to look cool, I guess.

LostSouls's picture

I'm surrounded by them too!

Most of the people where I live are just as closed minded and intolerant. Here most people drive pickups (lots of farms here), live for the next deer hunting season, and can't wait to go fishing.

It's hard to break away from them, but even harder to like these things as well and know you're also gay. It's also very difficult to be a Boy Scout as a gay person.


LostSouls are four gay friends-Alex, Dalton, Chase, & Jake-who ended up being stepbrothers by dumb luck. We are also a support group for four other gay kids who have to keep their sexuality a secret. We live in the Bible Belt, which explains a lot.

Super Duck's picture

Again, that's a pretty

Again, that's a pretty accurate description of my hometown!

Weren't the Boy Scouts the group that had all the anti-gay restrictions? I bet that is really tough!

Bosemaster42's picture


And she still said that shit!? I think I would have back-handed her(If she was a guy that is, I don't hit girls). What a douche!
Heh, yeah I use my truck mainly for hauling stone. Dry stone-masonry is actually just a hobby of mine. I also use it for pulling out tree stumps and other practical stuff.

Super Duck's picture

Yeah... She doesn't exactly

Yeah... She doesn't exactly think her words all the way through, that's for sure!

jeff's picture


One of the upsides of being a feminist is you can hit women.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

hellonwheels's picture

Hey! Redneck is coming back, OK!?!?

Ever watch duck dynasty? Most popular show in TV right now. I rest my case....also, BU??? Apparently I have missed a lot fo things, or my memort as of late totally blows! But congrats! Both on being popular for the last week or two of school and for getting into a college that doesn't suck!

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Super Duck's picture

Oh man, Duck Dynasty is

Oh man, Duck Dynasty is ULTRA popular here! Whenever I go to Walmart, there are always huge sections of Duck Dynasty t-shirts and other merchandise.

And yeah, BU! I remember posting about it once when I made my decision, but that was a long time ago. Probably like March-ish.

jeff's picture


Congrats on escaping, and for people reminding you why it's good to get out! ;-)

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Super Duck's picture

Haha, thanks! They've

Haha, thanks! They've reminded me so many times over the past 18 years that I don't think I'll ever forget!

Super Duck's picture



My only class for tomorrow was canceled! I'M A FREE BITCH, BABY!

elph's picture

Free... maybe...

but not what you said! :)

Super Duck's picture

Haha, it's a Lady Gaga

Haha, it's a Lady Gaga quote. I don't think I'm confrontational enough to actually be a bitch. :p

Ann's picture

Congratulations on

Congratulations on graduating and moving to a better future!

Super Duck's picture

Thanks!! I'm so excited!

Thanks!! I'm so excited!

Sam2000's picture


I'm another southern boy just waiting to escape, but are you ready for W-I-N-T-E-R?

You're smart and you'll do well!


Super Duck's picture

Haha, thanks, and yes, as

Haha, thanks, and yes, as soon as I buy a decent coat! I find it a lot easier to deal with cold than hot, actually, because you can always put more clothes on but taking too many off is generally considered socially unacceptable. :P