Yesterday was our big date. "Texting and scones," and all. A picnic in the Arboretum. With scones.
Also with lots of snogging.
of fantastic snogging.
As she would say - it's cute how words fail her so often even though she's an English major - "So, that's a thing."
'Perpetually single' has been a major part of who I am for so long - in a way this feels kind of unreal... but not really. Maybe that she's not real but I'm not either and we both inhabit almost the same plane of not-reality? I don't know...
And I won't pretend I don't have some doubts - not to you, anyway. She's more into me than I am into her, and I'm afraid of not being romantic enough - she sends me the sweetest messages to start my day off bright, and I feel bad that I don't return the romance. Not yet. It well may grow...
But somehow I make her incandescently happy anyway. And I love making her happy. And I'll just do my best to keep doing that - and hope that my affection grows. Time will help. There's nothing like waking up next to someone to build feelings - I felt that after our little slumber party a couple weeks ago. She's just quickly smitten and I'm just still a little guarded and a little hung up on Miki.
...I'm just stating the doubts here because this is where I can. Really more than anything I'm thrilled to have a girlfriend, and I genuinely enjoy spending time with her and listening to her talk - she's quite a talker. I like that. And the unabashed geekery. And of course the kissing. Maybe not as incandescent as she is - but definitely at least a little giddy.