Nice evening, not so nice conversation

Ann's picture

So my debate and speech group performed our speeches for an assisted living facility for the elderly this evening. Or was it technically late afternoon? Anyways, my best friend Beth (who I have a crush on and doesn't know I'm bi) was home from college, and since her brother and sister are in the club and her parents run it, she emceed the performance. Afterword we all went out for ice cream. It was a lot of fun. The conversation varied from horror movies to colonies on mars leading to a mars revolution. I did finally ask Beth what her feelings were about same sex marriage and the LGBTQ community.
Here's what she said about marriage: "Um...I don't have much of a strong opinion on the marriage aspect. I mean, biblically, it's not marriage, but since it is God and not the government that defines what marriage is, I don't see the big deal."
I'm not really sure what she means by that. I'm pretty sure that means she's not accepting of....Ugh. That's a disappointment. And then here's her opinion on LGBTQ people:
"According to what I believe, all human beings--gay, straight, bi, whatever--are born in sin. Now, in the Bible it says that homosexuality is a sin, but so are a lot of other things that we all struggle with. That doesn't make it okay it just means that people who identify themselves as homosexuals are in the same state as everyone else who doesn't know God and that is lost. And without Christ, it doesn't matter what their sexual orientation is, they are stuck in their sin. "
I hadn't really thought about much until now, but now that I am...Damn. It's really bringing me down. Why, her? If I had to fall for a straight girl, why couldn't it be a straight ally? And worst I think I still like her. Or I don't. Or I do? I don't even know anymore...


elph's picture

Don't abandon Beth...

Keep her as a life-long friend... but, as so often happens in life, you'll have to rein control over many of your personal feelings. Just cultivate those things you share and enjoy. But don't keep it a secret that you'll be having other friends who think maybe "just a bit differently"... but do so such that she sees no offense. The balancing of friendships requires much tact!

I'm saddened that she feels that her beliefs cannot be her own... :(

MacAvity's picture

(unpopular opinion time)

I actually really respect what your friend said. Sounds like she's actually been paying attention to the word of the Bible, and not using it as an excuse for bigotry or hate. I knew someone once who thought the same way, and she explained it as "Your homosexual sin is no worse than my heterosexual sin."

jeff's picture


It can seem difficult to have a crush on a moron (like there was nothing in society about marriage before the Bible, etc.). But, technically, she was taught to believe all of this, so it would make sense that she'd not question it.

Of course, you could be what makes her question it, not necessarily as a romantic interest, but once she knows about you, then it sort of brings her argument into reality and not just some vague Biblical thing she trots out. So, there could still be hope...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles