Where to begin

Ann's picture

Well, a couple of days ago I was hanging out with my friend Robert, the only person who knows I'm bi. This girl, Trisha, was with us. She's not really a friend of mine, more of a friend of a friend. Anyways, Robert made some joke or comment that I responded to. It wasn't offensive, but my response indicated to my queerness. Anyways, Trisha got nosy and started asking what Robert told me. I couldn't tell her what he said though, because then I would have to come out. I'm not close to Trisha, and I don't trust her mainly because time and time again I've heard talking about people behind their backs. She just kept nagging me about what Robert had told me, and I kept evading the question. Somehow the idea "is Ann a lesbian" came into it, not sure how. Robert said "Ann's not a lesbian", but then I said "no, she's not", and talking in the third person doesn’t sound very honest. Robert apologized for getting me into this, for laughing and somewhat hinting at what it was, and I called him a Jackass a few times. Anyways, I was eventually able to convince Trisha that it had nothing to do with her, so she pretty much shrugged it off and started nagging Robert about something he had said another time.
So, there was that.
Then later on Robert started trying to get Trisha to open up about something in her past. Robert's been through a lot of hell in his life, and he suspected Trisha had been through some stuff. At one point he turned and asked me if I had anything like that in my life. I said "not really", which is kind of a lie. If Trisha hadn't been there I might have been more honest, but like I said I don't trust her. When I was ten I told me my mom I didn't want to live anymore. That led to me being homeschooled. There were lots of other reasons, and I was begging to be homeschooled at that point, but that's the main reason she agreed.
My dad's...well, I think of him as a verbally abusive narcissist and my mom's got issues too I just don't know what to call them. When they're both not working and we're all home together everyday it's practically hell. At those times I'm, I guess, depressed and a few times I've wondered if everyone would be better off if I wasn't alive. I don't think like that anymore, mainly because both my parents are working and not around much. Yeah, so, now I'm wondering if I should be honest and tell Robert about all that or would that make me seem attention-seeking.
If you read through all that, thanks for listening, or reading technically.