Tonight is my last night in Boston for about two months until I move in for school. Unfortunately, I made the grave mistake of wearing cute shoes to orientation, so my feet were too blistered to do any last-minute exploring today. I'm not really used to walking everywhere since I live in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and there isn't exactly anything to walk to. But I like the walking because then I don't feel so bad if I have a cookie or a soda or something. And also I hate driving more than anything ever, so there's that. (Is it even possible to gain the Freshman 15 at a school here? I think you'd have to actively try to do it. So much walking.) I'm finally getting enough water here, too, I think. I'm bad about not getting enough, but all of the walking kinda necessitates it. And the best part of all is that the tap water is actually drinkable. (The tap water in my hometown is disgusting, and in the bigger-but-still-tiny nearby town, it's actually brown! Ewww.) After I move here, I will probably never feel fat again, haha.
I've spent the last hour or so just looking out my window at the city below me. I love seeing the lights and the cars rushing by. This is pretty weird, but I'm not gonna lie to you; I love looking at cities all lit up at night almost as much as I love looking at hot girls. This week has been the most magical week of my entire life. The first leg of the trip kinda sucked, as staying with family in Tennessee generally does, but after that, we drove to North Carolina to meet up with my mom's boyfriend. (This one is actually legit this time, oh my god. It's a miracle, right?) That was fun because it involved eating ice cream for breakfast, time traveling an hour into the future, driving through a mountain, and passing through the town where one of the 4397438748 actresses I'm in love with lived for a while. And then we flew here to Boston. And I just can't believe it. It's finally all real. Like, it sounds weird, but even when I got my acceptance and registered to come to this school, it still didn't feel real. But now I'm really here, in a place such a stark contrast to the terrible shithole I grew up in.
But that also means that nothing will ever be the same again. I don't know how I'm going to go back "home". I can't go back there now that I've walked down a street with anything I could ever want to do right there on it, or now that I've seen the city lights on the Charles River... or especially now that I've overheard a pretty girl on the street tell her friend, "I don't like dating girls who are hotter than me." (Seriously. It was my second night in town, and I already encountered a hot gay chick. Oh my god, please can I stay forever?) At least we aren't going straight home. We're going to be in North Carolina for a while, and although that isn't necessarily spectacular, being in a city there is much better than being "home".
Everyone who told me I'd hate it in Boston was soooo wrong. I'm in love, even with blistered feet. I can't wait for them to hear about how wrong they were.
So, orientation. I totally overslept and ran a bit late one day, but this cute girl in the lobby called my student adviser and had someone bring me to him. Super embarrassing, haha. He wasn't mad, though, thank goodness. He was really nice. In fact, all of the advisers were very nice and helpful.
I talked to a lot of people, especially on the first day, which is pretty good for me. Most of them I didn't see again, though. I didn't make any lasting friendships or anything, but I got along well with everyone in my orientation group. Really, just talking to a lot of people was a good step for me. I'm not that worried because I actually do have a friend already, but she didn't go to this orientation session. I've mentioned her before, I think. I met her on the official Facebook group last month, and we talk every day. I'm really excited to actually see her in September, but I'm kinda scared she won't think I'm as interesting in person as she does online.
I met the craziest guy, oh my god. He was great. Too bad he wasn't actually a student at my school. He was just there because his friends were helping out with the entertainment one night. At one point, he kind of named himself Shit, so that's what I'll call him, I guess, haha. I was alone, and he invited me to come talk to him, so I did. He said that I was cool, but I seemed kinda high-strung, so I should "start smoking weed and having lots of sex to mellow out a little." Although kind of appealing in theory, I don't think either of those are very likely courses of action for me at the moment, haha.
Although most of Shit's advice was admittedly pretty bad, he did give me one great piece of advice. He told me that I should never give a fuck what people think, especially now that I'm going to live in a city of hundreds of thousands of people, because if someone reacts negatively to me, I may never have to see them again. The more I think about it, the more I realize he's pretty much right, isn't he? I mean, of course, sometimes you can't avoid people who don't like you, and that's kinda scary, but most of the people you see's opinions of you really don't matter.
Shit was so cool. I hope he finds $20 on the ground or something.
Of course, however, I'm still scared of hot girls. I did make light conversation with several of them, though. Maybe even 5, which is probably a new record. But I don't remember most of their names. There was one who totally looked like that girl in my calculus class who I thought was cute until she said stupid stuff. And speaking of calculus, one hot girl was scared because she had to take it since she didn't in high school, so I told her how I, someone who has been "bad at math" for years, liked it and thought it was the easiest math I've ever taken. I'm not sure if she believed me 100% or not, but she did calm down some.
I was not really in prime condition to deal with hot girls, though. Even though we did a lot of walking, much of the food we ate made me feel kinda bloated. And the schedule for each day was WAY too packed for me to spend 30 minutes each morning trying to battle with my hair. Seriously, it was literally nonstop from like 8 a.m. to 12 a.m. the whole time. I'm one of those people who really, really cannot fully function unless given a little bit of time to "recharge", if that makes any sense. Like, I was so energetic the first day, but afterwards, not so much!
Oh, and speaking of hot girls, I totally accidentally stepped on one's foot on the T. I was mortified. I've never been on a train before, and I wasn't really prepared when it lurched forward. I'm such an idiot, oh my god, haha.
Hmm... Oh, I got my room assignment for the school year. Fortunately, I got the dorm close to the two buildings where the majority of my classes will be, so that's good. Unfortunately, I don't have a pretty view of the city, but that's okay. I can't find my roommate on Facebook, so I'm afraid I might have to email her. I hope she's nice, or at least semi-normal. But most of all, I hope she doesn't snore much.
And another thing, am I supposed to tell her I'm gay? Like, if we became friends, then it would most likely come up eventually since I can date up here, but if we don't become friends, should she still know? I mean, it's not really any of her business, but some people say they want to know if their roommate is gay. And this is probably giving myself too much credit here, but it would be horrible if she walked in on me with a girl and had no idea I even swing that way. No one ever has any idea...
I never know when to tell people. A lot of the time, I don't even think about it. (I didn't even think to mention it to Shit when he was saying I should "have all the sex.") In high school, there were friends it simply never came up with, ones who refused to believe it for so long that I gave up trying to tell them, and the few who I did actually tell successfully. Like, it's not even a secret or anything. If anyone ever thought to ask, I'd tell them. I just don't know how to casually tell people myself without having that awkward, sit-down, serious conversation. I hate that.
Take, for instance, my new friend, the one from the college Facebook page. I know for a fact she is not going to care. I know this because she seems to always be with her sister, so one day I looked at the sister's Facebook page out of curiosity, and the sister is like, some sort of hardcore gay rights activist. Still, I don't want to just randomly be all like, "Hello friend, how are you today? Personally, I am stellar gay" one day out of nowhere, but also I don't want to make it a huge deal either.
I don't know. I'm going to stop thinking about it and go to bed. I've got a plane to catch in the morning, unfortunately. I really wish I could just send for my things and some bandaids for my feet and just stay up here.