Where no one knows my name

Super Duck's picture

Tonight is my last night in Boston for about two months until I move in for school. Unfortunately, I made the grave mistake of wearing cute shoes to orientation, so my feet were too blistered to do any last-minute exploring today. I'm not really used to walking everywhere since I live in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and there isn't exactly anything to walk to. But I like the walking because then I don't feel so bad if I have a cookie or a soda or something. And also I hate driving more than anything ever, so there's that. (Is it even possible to gain the Freshman 15 at a school here? I think you'd have to actively try to do it. So much walking.) I'm finally getting enough water here, too, I think. I'm bad about not getting enough, but all of the walking kinda necessitates it. And the best part of all is that the tap water is actually drinkable. (The tap water in my hometown is disgusting, and in the bigger-but-still-tiny nearby town, it's actually brown! Ewww.) After I move here, I will probably never feel fat again, haha.

I've spent the last hour or so just looking out my window at the city below me. I love seeing the lights and the cars rushing by. This is pretty weird, but I'm not gonna lie to you; I love looking at cities all lit up at night almost as much as I love looking at hot girls. This week has been the most magical week of my entire life. The first leg of the trip kinda sucked, as staying with family in Tennessee generally does, but after that, we drove to North Carolina to meet up with my mom's boyfriend. (This one is actually legit this time, oh my god. It's a miracle, right?) That was fun because it involved eating ice cream for breakfast, time traveling an hour into the future, driving through a mountain, and passing through the town where one of the 4397438748 actresses I'm in love with lived for a while. And then we flew here to Boston. And I just can't believe it. It's finally all real. Like, it sounds weird, but even when I got my acceptance and registered to come to this school, it still didn't feel real. But now I'm really here, in a place such a stark contrast to the terrible shithole I grew up in.

But that also means that nothing will ever be the same again. I don't know how I'm going to go back "home". I can't go back there now that I've walked down a street with anything I could ever want to do right there on it, or now that I've seen the city lights on the Charles River... or especially now that I've overheard a pretty girl on the street tell her friend, "I don't like dating girls who are hotter than me." (Seriously. It was my second night in town, and I already encountered a hot gay chick. Oh my god, please can I stay forever?) At least we aren't going straight home. We're going to be in North Carolina for a while, and although that isn't necessarily spectacular, being in a city there is much better than being "home". 

Everyone who told me I'd hate it in Boston was soooo wrong. I'm in love, even with blistered feet. I can't wait for them to hear about how wrong they were.

So, orientation. I totally overslept and ran a bit late one day, but this cute girl in the lobby called my student adviser and had someone bring me to him. Super embarrassing, haha. He wasn't mad, though, thank goodness. He was really nice. In fact, all of the advisers were very nice and helpful.

I talked to a lot of people, especially on the first day, which is pretty good for me. Most of them I didn't see again, though. I didn't make any lasting friendships or anything, but I got along well with everyone in my orientation group. Really, just talking to a lot of people was a good step for me. I'm not that worried because I actually do have a friend already, but she didn't go to this orientation session. I've mentioned her before, I think. I met her on the official Facebook group last month, and we talk every day. I'm really excited to actually see her in September, but I'm kinda scared she won't think I'm as interesting in person as she does online. 

I met the craziest guy, oh my god. He was great. Too bad he wasn't actually a student at my school. He was just there because his friends were helping out with the entertainment one night. At one point, he kind of named himself Shit, so that's what I'll call him, I guess, haha. I was alone, and he invited me to come talk to him, so I did. He said that I was cool, but I seemed kinda high-strung, so I should "start smoking weed and having lots of sex to mellow out a little." Although kind of appealing in theory, I don't think either of those are very likely courses of action for me at the moment, haha. 

Although most of Shit's advice was admittedly pretty bad, he did give me one great piece of advice. He told me that I should never give a fuck what people think, especially now that I'm going to live in a city of hundreds of thousands of people, because if someone reacts negatively to me, I may never have to see them again. The more I think about it, the more I realize he's pretty much right, isn't he? I mean, of course, sometimes you can't avoid people who don't like you, and that's kinda scary, but most of the people you see's opinions of you really don't matter.

Shit was so cool. I hope he finds $20 on the ground or something.

Of course, however, I'm still scared of hot girls. I did make light conversation with several of them, though. Maybe even 5, which is probably a new record. But I don't remember most of their names. There was one who totally looked like that girl in my calculus class who I thought was cute until she said stupid stuff. And speaking of calculus, one hot girl was scared because she had to take it since she didn't in high school, so I told her how I, someone who has been "bad at math" for years, liked it and thought it was the easiest math I've ever taken. I'm not sure if she believed me 100% or not, but she did calm down some.

I was not really in prime condition to deal with hot girls, though. Even though we did a lot of walking, much of the food we ate made me feel kinda bloated. And the schedule for each day was WAY too packed for me to spend 30 minutes each morning trying to battle with my hair. Seriously, it was literally nonstop from like 8 a.m. to 12 a.m. the whole time. I'm one of those people who really, really cannot fully function unless given a little bit of time to "recharge", if that makes any sense. Like, I was so energetic the first day, but afterwards, not so much!

Oh, and speaking of hot girls, I totally accidentally stepped on one's foot on the T. I was mortified. I've never been on a train before, and I wasn't really prepared when it lurched forward. I'm such an idiot, oh my god, haha.

Hmm... Oh, I got my room assignment for the school year. Fortunately, I got the dorm close to the two buildings where the majority of my classes will be, so that's good. Unfortunately, I don't have a pretty view of the city, but that's okay. I can't find my roommate on Facebook, so I'm afraid I might have to email her. I hope she's nice, or at least semi-normal. But most of all, I hope she doesn't snore much. 

And another thing, am I supposed to tell her I'm gay? Like, if we became friends, then it would most likely come up eventually since I can date up here, but if we don't become friends, should she still know? I mean, it's not really any of her business, but some people say they want to know if their roommate is gay. And this is probably giving myself too much credit here, but it would be horrible if she walked in on me with a girl and had no idea I even swing that way. No one ever has any idea... 

I never know when to tell people. A lot of the time, I don't even think about it. (I didn't even think to mention it to Shit when he was saying I should "have all the sex.") In high school, there were friends it simply never came up with, ones who refused to believe it for so long that I gave up trying to tell them, and the few who I did actually tell successfully. Like, it's not even a secret or anything. If anyone ever thought to ask, I'd tell them. I just don't know how to casually tell people myself without having that awkward, sit-down, serious conversation. I hate that.

Take, for instance, my new friend, the one from the college Facebook page. I know for a fact she is not going to care. I know this because she seems to always be with her sister, so one day I looked at the sister's Facebook page out of curiosity, and the sister is like, some sort of hardcore gay rights activist. Still, I don't want to just randomly be all like, "Hello friend, how are you today? Personally, I am stellar gay" one day out of nowhere, but also I don't want to make it a huge deal either.

I don't know. I'm going to stop thinking about it and go to bed. I've got a plane to catch in the morning, unfortunately. I really wish I could just send for my things and some bandaids for my feet and just stay up here.


MaddieJoy's picture

my new favorite sentences

Shit was so cool. I hope he finds $20 on the ground or something.
"Hello friend, how are you today? Personally, I am stellar gay"
Thank you so much, these made my day <3

Super Duck's picture

Haha, thanks. Glad I could

Haha, thanks. Glad I could help make your day!

Bosemaster42's picture


I guess I can finally say 'Welcome to Boston'. Sounds like the orientation went well. You need to get yourself a comfortable pair of hikers or sneakers to avoid the blister's. I can't wear dress-type shoes, they just hurt and if I had to walk a lot or god forbid, run, forget about it. At functions or if dressing up is necessary, I have a pair I wear, but that's it.
So, you met a guy who called himself shit, interesting, sounds like a keeper, LOL! The last bit of advice he gave is true though. It kind of works both ways sometimes. You could easily find yourself among un-friendly people one day, and never see them again. The other side of that, you could go out one night and meet people you'd love to hang with again, but unless you get a phone number/email/or facebook I.D., you may never see them again either. I had that happen to me more than once.
Funny, you should mention the T. My friggin truck broke down on me again on Wednesday, as I was leaving work. I was pretty lucky though, my brake line let go and was pissing fluid on the ground. Had I been on the highway when it happened, I might have crashed, because there was literally no pedal. I just replaced my power steering pump & hose on Tuesday myself, however, I'm giving this to a shop to fix. Anyway, I had to hop on a trolley on Comm. Ave. and rode to Govt. Center, then to North Station so I could take the Commuter rail home. It was nice not having to drive, believe me, traffic sucks during the rush hours.

Super Duck's picture

My mom's boyfriend suggested

My mom's boyfriend suggested I wear sneakers to walk around in but carry my cute shoes in my bag or something and just put them on when necessary. I'm most definitely investing in a good pair of sneakers, haha.

And yeah, you're right. For example, I'm kinda sad I didn't get Shit's real name so I could look him up on Facebook, haha.

You were on Comm. Ave? Wouldn't it be funny if we passed by each other and didn't even know it?

Right now I'm sitting in the airport... Sad to leave!!

Bosemaster42's picture


That would be funny. So, you had to return home until school starts up? Well, at least you'll be in a dorm on campus. The worst part of the Summer(traffic-wise) is August 30-Sept. 3rd. That's when all the students, who live off-campus, move into local apartments seemingly all over the city. It ties up all the side-streets and main one's too. I refer to it as the 'Annual Student migration'. But, that's the deal in this city.
I don't know what building you're being housed in, but there's this place on Comm. Ave. called 'Raising Canes', right next to B.U.'s hockey arena. Hand's down, the best chicken fingers I've tasted in the area. They were cooked perfectly, juicy and delicious. Not the healthiest choice, mind you, but I would go back just for those fingers. A little pricey, but it was worth it.

Super Duck's picture

Yes, unfortunately, I had to

Yes, unfortunately, I had to go home. Well, I'm not home yet, actually. I'm in North Carolina right now instead, but it's not Boston so same thing, I guess. And that's the weekend I'm moving in! That sounds like a lot of people, haha. Do all the colleges in the city start at the same time or something?

I'm going to be living in Warren, but everyone stayed in West during orientation. And yes, I love Raising Canes! I noticed them when I was walking around, and I was kind of surprised to see them in Boston since I thought they were a Louisiana thing for some reason. I have some family in Baton Rouge, and there are Raising Canes everywhere there, but I've never seen it anywhere else except the one in Boston.

Bosemaster42's picture

Oh yeah,

There are some early birds the week prior(the smart one's), but it sure seems like it's all at once. You may or may not notice it, because you'll be busy getting yourself situated. What you will likely notice is all the rental trucks buzzing up and down Comm. Ave. It's a crazy couple of weeks.
You know, I should have known they originated down south. Popeye's was the same. The first time I tried them, I was in Florida, on vacation. I loved their spicy chicken and the mashed w/gravy was good. Alright, now I'm getting hungry talking about fried chicken. Some of the best fried chicken I've had was down south. I also learned how to cook my own from a friend in Memphis,TN. Pan frying is the best way, nice and slow.

jeff's picture


A couple things:

-- If your first thought is all the cookies and soda you can have as rewards for walking, I'd say to be very conscious of the Freshman 15. ;-)

-- How do you go back "home" after college? You don't. That is a place you will visit in the future. Unless you choose to live there for some odd reason after college.

-- Shit was possibly right about three things.

-- Tell her you're gay. You're in college now, so the goal is to surround yourself with people who can advance you in every direction. If she is not one of them, find out soon. You being gay might be how you're supposed to advance her. But I wouldn't come out or anything, just say it like it's boring and who cares? I typically come out as soon as possible with new people, but again, not in a way like "Just so you know, I'm a gay gentleman..." but just randomly like "White House Down was a bit silly, but at least Channing Tatum was hot to look at when the story sucked." You can usually see when people register it.

Think of it this way, you're not coming out for their sake. You're coming out for yours. You want it to be chill, boring, and a non-issue. At the same time, you want them to know so you can meet their gay friends, etc., or they can set you up with people they met somewhere else on campus, etc.

As for the Facebook chick, just say you were checking out some pictures online from Boston Pride, and you wish you were in town when that happened. Oh well... maybe next year. That's pretty much it.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Super Duck's picture

--Nooo, I wouldn't eat that

--Nooo, I wouldn't eat that normally at school at all, haha. They just fed us a lot of junk like that at orientation, and I didn't feel that bad about eating it. Well, until the last day. By then it started to upset my stomach a bit because I don't really eat like that.

--I don't mean after college. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I mean, like, I hate that I can't just go ahead and move into college. I'll be stuck in the middle of nowhere for the next 2 months until I can go back, and now it's extra terrible because I know what I'm missing!

--You're right. I do want to tell her eventually. Like, I know she isn't going to ask me, but I'm hoping it will come up in a natural way somehow. I started talking to her today. I'd like to tell her before school starts, so she can switch if it really bothers her a lot. (But she's from Southern California, so maybe she has at least met a gay person besides me before.)

I want to bring it up kind of nonchalantly like that. I don't really want to make it a big deal because I don't consider it a big deal for me, if that makes sense.

Nanook's picture

Well, I get shit's advice,

Well, I get shit's advice, and i came up with the same stuff through tripping haha. But, what I came up with (and this may sound better to you, or worse - I figured a different way of saying something cements it), is it's your choice to take things personally. Ultimately things will happen to you that are good, bad and neutral. It's you who chooses what to do with them. You don't create your circumstances, but you craft your reality.

Also, smoking is totes fun, but I wouldn't place a big emphasis on it. I wouldn't place a big emphasis on any drug for that matter. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like drinking, etc. But you're ultimately you, not a pill, not a powder and not flower.

Lastly, there's no need to come out, out of context, unless a situation presents itself where it's necessary (AKA, trying to bed some darling girl!!!). By coming out, out of context, it shows you don't really have self-confidence (at least to me). Because you're you. You define yourself as you. And do you want to define yourself as a lesbian or gay, or as Soopa Duck? And why should it matter to anyone? Straight people don't come out as straight. And why does a roommate need to care about where you want to put your tongue? You're you. So be you.

Super Duck's picture

Yeah, that makes sense. Shit

Yeah, that makes sense. Shit was being a bit extreme, I think. He was saying stuff like, "DO ACID AND THEN GO TO DUNKIN DONUTS IT WILL BE THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF YOUR LIFE!!!"

That's kind of how I think of it too. Like, I don't want to just randomly tell people out of context because it's not the defining concept of my entire existence. But I'm scared of it becoming like a secret or something, if that makes sense. I don't know.