Great Advice Offered to His Gay 14-Year-Old Self

elph's picture

Gay soccer star Robbie Rogers has written a heartbreaking letter to his 14-year-old self.

"Dear Robbie,

You’re walking around with a cramp in your stomach. You feel trapped within yourself. The pressure of being a high school freshman and playing for the W-ko national team is stressful enough.

But on top of that you’re worried that you’re different from everyone, especially your teammates. And you think that if they figure out who you are, you want to be able to play the sport you love, or your family won’t agree with it. Sometimes you pray and think, 'I don’t wanna live through this, why I can’t be like my brothers and sisters?'

I’m not going to tell you to come out at 14 years old. I’m not going to tell you what’s going to happen in the future either because the journey is important. But I want you to realize that God made you this way for a reason. You’re not damned or going to hell. You didn’t have a choice in this. But you do have a purpose in life, just as everyone does.

When guys say things in the locker room, remind yourself that most of them don’t actually feel this way. They aren’t really homophobic. These are people trying to please others, or think that’s what they’re supposed to say. Everyone is dealing with something, whether they’re gay or straight.

You don’t have to feel like you’re alone.

Which brings me to this: If there’s any great advice I can give you, it’s to find someone you can speak to about what you’re feeling inside, someone you can trust who won’t judge or expose you. Because you can’t walk around with a burden like the one you’re carrying. You’ve got to share this with somebody.

I know I said I wouldn’t tell you what your future holds, but I will tell you that everything’s going to be fine – one day you’ll be happier than you ever thought possible. And while you can’t envision sharing your secret now, the world is changing. People are becoming more accepting.

And when the time is right, the day might come when you’re ready to face the world as the beautiful person you truly are.

Robbie Rogers"
For the full story, see:


Update 03 July:

It appears that Rogers' original of this letter was written in longhand.

Here is a pdf copy:


Yamamoto's picture

Noticed a few grammar

Noticed a few grammar mistakes in the letter. :P

jeff's picture

Who cares?

It's not a New Yorker piece. Some openly gay athlete wrote a heartfelt letter and posted it online.

Of course, you rarely comment directly on anything, so I guess that makes sense.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Bosemaster42's picture


I mean, I've been called a grammar Nazi in the past, as long as, the idea someone is attempting to convey is clear, small mistakes in grammar are certainly excusable. His message was pretty clear, I only wish someone had sent me that letter when I was 14.