Free Write #6

radiosilence95's picture

-Love isn't supposed to hurt. The way we humans love one another is flawed and we create the hurt.

-I said goodbye to a friend over dinner a few days ago. We went to the same restaurant we used to go to every Monday. She's left for Minnesota and I feel absolutely nothing.

-The past hurts to think about. There are people I miss and memories I want to relive, but the future is looking fantastic.

-I don't know if I've told you guys this, but my mom has been seeing someone. He's a gentleman and he makes her happy so I'm glad for her. I hope she returns the favor when I find someone special. I'm oddly jealous. Who gets jealous of their mom?

-Everybody's gone now, except for Haylee. She's a good friend. She talks a lot and always has to be right, but I appreciate her because she can still listen and comfort me when it comes down to it. She's one of the only friends I'll really miss. To give you an idea of how broken my other friendships have become: a friend I've known since sixth grade moved to California without saying a word to me. I had to find out from someone else that she'd left. We'll never see each other again and I'm not sad.

-Eleven days. Eleven days and I'm gone.

-I realized that pretty soon I will hardly ever have any time to myself. This summer I've had the whole basement to myself, so I'd spend most of each day alone reading. I'll have a roommate in college and a very active social life, and my sister's moving in the basement, so even when I'm at home I'll have to fight to find time alone for reading. I see more solitary car rides in my future. I really want to ride to someplace out in the country and sit in the grass and read, but everybody owns everything now. Every blade of grass, every tree, is claimed by someone, be it a homeowner or a business or the government or the state or what. Sad.

-This wasn't even really a free write. More like a journal in convenient list form.

Comments

jcryay's picture

Intreresting...

Love isn't supposed to hurt, and you feel no pain at the loss of those who have abruptly left you. Does this mean you loved them correctly, or not at all?

radiosilence95's picture

I think at some point I did

I think at some point I did love my friends, because we saw each other every day in school and it was so easy to laugh and be carefree. But now we're all growing up, caught up in our own futures and trying to figure out college, that love has basically faded. I can't do anything about that, it's inevitable that most high school friends drift apart when college rolls around, so why dwell on it and hurt because of it?

jeff's picture

Hmm...

"Love isn't supposed to hurt. The way we humans love one another is flawed and we create the hurt"

I think you need the hurt to measure how big the love was.

"Eleven days and I'm gone."

Even less days when I'm reading this... ;-)

"Everybody owns everything now. Every blade of grass, every tree, is claimed by someone, be it a homeowner or a business or the government or the state or what. Sad."

Oops. Sorry. I just bought a beach house last week...

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

radiosilence95's picture

Ah, that's true. I guess

Ah, that's true. I guess what I meant by that was that when I see how the relationships around me function, the people involved make it all seem so painful, like it's perfectly normal that love always equals pain. I mean, obviously it's gonna hurt occasionally, but people whine about how much hurt their relationship causes all the time. Not even talking about just teenagers, either. It's all age groups. It just leads me to believe that maybe we're all loving the wrong way?

Yes! One more week! Time couldn't pass any slower at this point.

Haha. But really though, I wanted to go camping far out in the wilderness this summer only to realize that there is NO wilderness. The closest you'll get is a state park. Humans have seriously touched everything, it seems. Except the depths of the ocean.