College Adventures (But not really) Pt. 2

radiosilence95's picture

I just really do not like my roommate. At all. I honestly don't see us becoming besties ever. I know I complained about her in my last journal, but I'm gonna complain about her some more. For one thing, she always acts like she never has a fucking clue what's going on. She has this perpetual look of confusion on her face that really annoys me. I'm surprised she hasn't been hit by a car yet.

Also, she's unorganized as fuck. I know I'm not super organized, but I'm FAR more organized than she is. There are mountains of clothes on her dresser, in her closet, on the floor by her desk. I can hardly open my fucking closet because the door get stuck on THE GIANT OVERFLOWING MOUNTAIN OF CLOTHES. She's a mooch. She keeps using my laundry detergent and I don't have the heart to say no. If she forgets her ID card for lunch, she's more than willing to accept halfhearted offers to pay for her food.

Lastly and most importantly, lately she's been leaving the suite at like nine or ten at night and doesn't come back until some ungodly morning hour the next day. Today it was four in the morning. FOUR IN THE MORNING. WHO DOES THAT ON A WEEK NIGHT? And it almost always wakes me up. Sarah, one of my friends, tells me she goes off to do art projects. Gawd she's just so fucking out of it.

And, like I mentioned before, she's somewhat in my small circle of friends, plus I live with her, so it's tricky to avoid her. I also feel like a douche because I don't really try to engage in conversation with her. I'm not openly an asshole, but I'm sure she's picked up by now on the fact that I'm not interested in being besties. Or maybe she's hasn't. Honestly she's so spaced out all the time she might not have noticed.

Funny story before I move on: she went to a party this weekend and went off alone with a guy she didn't even know. No cell phone on her, nothing. She just wandered off with this dude, totally ignoring the concerns of a few of my friends. They offered her their cell phones, but she wouldn't take them. And then she had to wear a scarf for three days because he gave her a ton of nasty hickeys. Plot twist: she has a boyfriend back in California. So she's the kind of girl who constantly has some obnoxious dating drama going on. Hoorah.

But, she's not totally ruining my college experience or anything. I love it here. I'm getting even closer to my suite mates and it's great. They're all really cool people. They know I'm gay and they didn't even flinch when I told them. Not all of my suite mates know. The girls I don't really talk to are still oblivious but being out to every possible person isn't a priority for me. I mean, if the opportunity arises they will be informed, but I'm not just gonna sit down with them and have a talk with them about it.

Anyway, yeah, I have like five suite mates that I chill out with all the time. I was kind of into one girl who's a soccer player but she has a boyfriend so that's not something worth pursuing. One of my suite friends and I are planning on going to a concert in Chicago in mid-October together, so that's awesome! We're gonna make a day of it and go to the zoo before the concert probably. I'm terrified of driving around in Chicago though. Whenever I go we always take taxis. The streets are confusing and people go 60 in a 30 so it's a little intimidating. But who cares! I'm going to Chicago without adult supervision! Because I am an adult! Woot! And I get to see a really amazing ska/punk band! Streetlight Manifesto. Check them out. They're great.

I've been continuously going to three different clubs' meetings: Common Ground (the LGBT club), Brony club, and SSA (Secular Student Alliance). They're all great, although I haven't really started making friends in any of them yet. It just takes me awhile. But we all know this. Today in Common Ground we talked about stereotypes, which was interesting. And there are of course several lesbians there, but I haven't scoped anyone out yet (we've only had two meeting thus far). I feel like if I intentionally seek out a lady constantly I'll never find one. When I develop serious feels for a particular lady, it always happens accidentally. So I'm just gonna chill. But I do want a girlfriend.

Oh! I also did this volunteer thing in Peoria in which I, introverted Jenna, approached random strangers asking them to sign a petition showing their support for the same-sex marriage bill Illinois is considering. I only got like five signatures because I felt like I would be "that person" that annoys people, and by the time I got more comfortable with approaching people it was time to leave. Bummer. But every signature counts. So it wasn't a total waste.

I also sent in my submission to that literary magazine and I have checked my email obsessively since to see if they're gonna publish me. Problem is, I sent it to the most elite student publication on campus. I mean, this literary journal has won national awards for fuck's sake. Probably should have started smaller. Whoops. But you never know.

But yeah, I've found more opportunities here in two weeks than I did back at home in four years of high school. Like, a secular club at my high school would never be a thing. It's just so open and diverse here and I'm so used to mega religious redneck white people who are dumb and are all exactly the same. It's so refreshing!

I definitely feel like I belong here now.


jeff's picture


I don't think you're meant to date her, just uninterested co-existence is sufficient. Look as it as permission to not be concerned when you wake her up, or you wake up with a hot girl in your bed, etc.

"It just takes me awhile. But we all know this." I only know who you were in high school. Who you decide to be in college is up to you. You're too young in your teens to know your life patterns from now to the grave, unless of course, you keep repeating and accepting them as part of God's plan, then sure, you're locked in. But if it's not serving you, change it.

I get wanting to meet other lesbolicious sisters, and probably has some overlap with people who masturbate to cartoon horses, but... isn't the beauty of atheism its lack of structure? Are there any other things you don't believe in that merit regular attendance? ;-)

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

radiosilence95's picture

Hehe. I suppose so. I don't

Hehe. I suppose so. I don't think many girls in this suite are besties with their roommate anyone, they just respectfully share a space and engage in polite conversation.

I'm going to try to change it. I know I'm capable of making friends, I've done it already with my suite mates, I just need to put myself out there more. I plan on speaking up more during our discussions in our clubs.

Not every brony jerks off to ponies! Some of them just really like the show. It's very bright and happy and has messages about friendship and sometimes you just need something so disgustingly sweet like that. You should heed the show's big, repeating message: Love and tolerate :P

The Secular Student Alliance isn't necessarily a club for atheists. It welcomes people of all religions who are curious and have questions about life and stuff. From my understanding, we talk about things like the origin of life, evolution, the universe, the separation of church and state and religion's role in politics, stuff like that. We're gonna have professors and guest speakers talk to us about these things. Plus, another goal is to show the community here that atheists aren't terrible awful people. It seems pretty cool to me.

jeff's picture


I cannot heed, nor be expected to know, the message of a show I have never watched. But unless I had a pretty laced pot brownie beforehand, I can't imagine watching a show about cartoon horses and being affected.

I am always amused by the "atheists aren't bad people" notion that often needs to be corrected amongst believers. Doesn't it, at its core, say that they believe their natural state, sans belief, is that they would be awful? How much more proof of brainwashing do you need than to think your own ability to be a good person isn't natural, but something you are barely holding onto through the unworthy grace of (insert deity here).

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

radiosilence95's picture

Haha. Well, I really can't

Haha. Well, I really can't see you being a brony anyway.

Yeah, I agree. In fact, the kind of Christians I grew up around had pretty much that exact belief; we are all horrible, morally corrupt without a god to steer us the right way. "Where do you get your morals from?" is a question I once got from my mom. I really need a source???? I just always thought it was common sense that killing and rape and whatnot aren't good things? You don't have to have a guidebook.

Also, the topic of that article is weird and seems so contradictory...establish a church to get away from church? But, the SSA here is more about the scientific discussion and philosophical questions that religion shoos away. Really I see it as a place for atheists and free thinkers to go on campus.

jeff's picture


Maybe I spoke too soon...

And of course...
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles