I've been here about a week now, and I love it so far. (Disregarding that one crappy party, haha.) Everyone on my floor is awesome. We do everything together. But they're kind of my only friends except for that one girl from the Facebook group, so I think I need to branch out a little since I'm with them 24/7. My classes are going decently so far too. I don't hate any of them that much yet. The only real complaints I have are that it's really, really hard to shave my legs in the dimly lit showers and sometimes I forget to eat unless someone invites me out.
And can I just say that the girls here are unbelievably attractive? I'm like a freakin' kid in a candy store! Sometimes when I'm walking to class, I'll try to count the hot girls, but I'll always lose count. There's even a hot girl on my floor. I didn't see much of her for a few days, but now she has started hanging out with the rest of us, so yay! I also once saw a hot girl wearing a pro-gay shirt, and I've noticed her around campus a few times since then. And also, I joined several clubs at the club fair thing, and I happened to see the name of this really hot bi girl from the Facebook group on one of the mailing lists, so there's a chance I could get to talk to her soon. Now that would be amazing.
But I write because I have encountered... a problem. She's a tiny, blonde, health science major from Washington, and she's ADORABLE. I sit by her in one of my electives, and, um, yeah. You guys probably know where this is going. I'm scared I'll never see her again after this semester is over! I have talked to this girl exactly twice since I've only had that class twice, but I absolutely cannot stop thinking about her. Every time I try to do my reading assignment for it, my mind wanders hopelessly and all I can think about is her!
Like I said, I'm insanely attracted to soooo many girls here, but she's the only one who makes me nervous. The second day I had that class, it was my first class of the day since my 9:30 a.m. got cancelled, so I got ultra dressed up just for the hell of it. I felt very confident until I actually made it into the building and saw her walk over, completely adorable even in her workout clothes. And then I felt 12 years old again. I have that class again in a couple hours, and I'm so nervous! I need to talk to her again today, but I have no idea what to say to her because my mind totally blanks every time I see her.
Oh, in a couple of weeks there's a LGBT freshman reception thing. I want to go, but I'm also kind of scared to because no one knows I'm gay yet... But logically, they wouldn't see me there unless they were also gay, now would they? I feel weird because I don't feel like I've been adequately prepared for this, if that makes sense. Like, in high school I had a lot of asshole friends who refused to believe I'm gay, so I have limited experience successfully coming out to friends. As dumb as it sounds, I always kind of assumed that I would magically know how to handle everything once I grew up and moved away, but here I am, still freakin' clueless!
I guess I really just want all of my new friends to get to know me as ME first instead of as "the gay chick", you know? If that makes any sense. But then, saying that makes me scared I'll put off coming out to anyone indefinitely. I'm still pretty bad with people, in case you haven't noticed!