My Current Love Life.

lordmomofenixed's picture

SO.....

Some of you may remember me having a relationship with a wonderful guy named Sam of whom i met. Well, Sam and I lost contact sometime after a year of dating. Naturally, I had to move on. After that I was pretty single for an excruciating amount of time. It wasn't until January 2012 that I decided to ask out my first boyfriend again. We had dated during freshman year, but due to millions of social complications, we broke up. However, we remained close friends over the years and I decided that he was a safe choice. I really didn't expect him to say yes... but he did. And on 1/23/2012, we began this crazy love affair that continues today.

I met Edwin in 8th grade shortly after moving to Tennessee in 2007. He is a firefighter at a local fire station and a public safety major. He is a bit taller than me, like everyone else I've ever dated. He's so dark and mysterious, the thing that intrigues me most about him. Oh, but when he smiles, it is the brightest thing that I have ever seen. There is this golden spark next to the pupils in his green eyes, something I like to think I can only see because I'm the only one who he allows to get close to him.

Due to other complications, I have broken up with him countless times only to find myself back in his arms once again. He suffers from MPD, and sometimes I cant deal with the alternate people inside his head. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm good enough to be with him. The other week I tried to leave him, he actually poured out all of his feelings, something I have never witness from him. That really touched me.

Since high school, I've slept with quite a few guys.... guys I would never dream of being in love with. I only used them because I needed attention. My moral system turned quite corrupt for a bit, but I'm back in order now. I've realized that Edwin is the only person in the world that I will ever want to be with. These feelings I have for him are quite genuine and unconditional, as I have been faced to question them many times only to find out I really do love him. I've been through so much with him over the past six years, and I can honestly say we know each other more than anyone else knows us. I especially love how patient he is with me, despite my random emotions and chronic depression.

I'm so blessed to have him.

Comments

PokemonGeek's picture

I wish I had someone....

I wish I had someone.... :[

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

lordmomofenixed's picture

you will have someone,

All in due time, my dear.
a psychotic pencilist, moe

radiosilence95's picture

Hmm.

Based on how you comment on other people's journals, I can actually give you specific advice on socializing. You read his entire journal and when you bothered to comment, you made it about you and you alone. Which, in all frankness, makes you seem self-centered. If you spend your conversations with other people just talking about yourself, nobody's gonna wanna be around you. Because I have friends who do that. Did have friends, I should say.

Just sayin'.