I made it seem like I was gonna dramatically exit the site for weeks, but three days later here I am. Classes and clubs and whatnot don't start until Thursday, so for now other than the mandatory orientation meetings, I've found myself with an abundance of free time.
Not gonna lie, the first two days were a bit rough for me. Being such a homebody, I did get homesick. I was almost in tears several times. And the fact that everyone's already formed their groups of friends really amplifies how terribly withdrawn I've always been and probably, to some degree, always will be. But, y'know, it's not that I am utterly incapable of making friends. I just need classes and clubs to start and I should be a-okay. And there's nothing wrong with being a bit more isolated than most people, as long as I don't let it get out of hand. Plus, I've already made friends with a few dorm mates, all of whom are Tumblr fangirls. Which is fine with me, although I usually find fangirls a tad annoying.
Seriously, this one girl specifically is the exact stereotype of a Tumblr dweller. Socially inept, spends most of her time, y'know, on Tumblr away from people, goes nuts over way too many fandoms like Doctor Who and Sherlock and anime. But you know, she's nice, she's quirky, we have a considerable amount of things in common, and I enjoy her company. Same with the other girls. I just refer to her specifically because she's the most fangirl-y Tumblr-y person out of the friends I've made thus far.
My first night here was a mess though. We had an awful storm that actually gave us a five-hour blackout. Which meant no working fans and no open windows during one of the hottest weeks this year. Seriously, it's been in the nineties for the past week and won't cool off till this weekend. So I could barely breathe. On top of the terrifyingly loud thunder and complete lack of oxygen AND lack of electricity, the lightning hit too close and a fire alarm right next to our dorm went off and nobody could turn it off for a complete hour. I probably got about four hours of sleep, if that.
But yeah. The transition has had its rough moments but not it's not unbearable. Showering is awkward because the showers are lined up so that it's almost impossible to get out of the showering area without moving a curtain the wrong way and seeing someone naked, so I try to shower late at night when no one else wants to.
Also, I'm taking three classes per trimester because that's just how it goes here. AND all the classes I wanted are taken, so that's a thing. Astronomy, cognitive and social psychology, etc. So I have to settle for a math class, possibly an introductory course in fiction writing if the professor will allow me in without the prerequisite, and a course in Buddhism. Honestly, it feels like my first trimester is gonna be a total waste. I can't even take a course in psychology for right now because everything is full. Winter term should be better, according to my adviser.
Entering college has shaken my certainty in my future plans to be honest. It's not that I have absolutely no clue what I'm gonna do, but I'm more open to a change of plans than I previously was. I'm still sticking with psychology and creative writing. I still plan on being a therapist in a homeless shelter for LGBTQ teens, which I realize is oddly specific and I might have to be open to more opportunities in the therapy field. I still plan on writing on the side. BUT it could all change and I'm cool with that.
Problem is, I've given zero thought to graduate school. I just stupidly assumed I could find a career in therapy with a four-year degree. I'll have to do more research, but I'm worried that I'll be fucked after graduating because graduate school sounds expensive and this four-year college is expensive enough. This college alone is gonna put in about 40,000 dollars in debt.
Basically what I'm saying is that I've been so certain in my plans for so long and college has made me rethink all of it.
But that okay! Everything is gonna be okay. I will make friends (I pretty much already have), I will start dating (no cute girls yet, but I'll find a few soon I'm sure), and I will figure everything out. I just need to adjust.