Today was a very good day for me.

Super Duck's picture

As I mentioned, I had plans with Cute Blonde Girl this morning. I had to wake up really early. Like, I don't think I've EVER woken up that early on a Sunday. But I didn't even care. I was like ultra nervous, though. I was running around trying to get ready without waking up my roommate, and I ran into my RA in the hall and it was really awkward and I was scared he was totally judging me because who gets up at 7 on a Sunday morning? I put on legit makeup and everything, even though I'm often too lazy to do much more than mascara and lip gloss.

I found out that she lives all the way across campus, but she comes to this particular Starbucks every Sunday. We're both obsessed with washing our hands, and she's like, really, really, really smart. Her exact major is human physiology. I thought was just health sciences, but that's just the main "category" if that makes sense. (Like, we have "business majors" but there are actually a bunch of different sub-kinds like finance, marketing, etc.) She wants to be a surgeon. And she's taking organic chemistry. Oh my god. That's like, the hardest class ever invented.

She asked me how I'm adjusting to Boston, if I'm friends with my floormates, and stuff like that. She wanted to know what Mississippi is like and if they have winter there (they don't) and I told her it was basically just farmland and Walmart and she couldn't even believe such a place exists, haha. Then she asked if I had done the homework for the class we have together, and I mentioned that sometimes I kind of have a hard time focusing when I'm trying to study it (but I didn't tell her it's because I can't stop thinking about her!) and she was like, "Oh, I have this one song I always listen to that gets me to focus... Here, you should try it," and she gave me her headphones so I could listen to it and when I took them from her, my hand brushed against hers, and I got really nervous but I didn't let it show.

She actually remembered how to spell my name, which everyone gets wrong, and she said she really, really wants to look through all of my pictures on Facebook. Okay. But she's going to see all these awful pictures of me from like middle school, haha. I was like, "But I'm so unphotogenic!" and she was like, "Oh, it's fine, look at some of these pictures of me..." And she showed me a picture of herself from like 4 years ago. And then she showed me some pictures of her and her sisters. And then she showed me this picture of her with her cross country team and she's like not exactly wearing all that much and her stomach is really toned!!? I'm SO not complaining, but ummm why'd she show me that?

Anyway, so I added her on Facebook, and, bracing myself for the worst, I immediately checked her "interested in". But it's not listed. The section is empty, but she lists herself as single. Now, it doesn't have to mean anything, of course, and since I'm me I am definitely not going to get my hopes up too high, but let's be real here, what does a blank "interested in" usually mean? Mine's not filled in, but I don't fill in a lot of my profile information. But she filled in her relationship status and not her "interested in". Hmm. Since she said she was gonna Facebook stalk me, I'm looking through all her pictures, and apparently she went to prom with a guy her senior year of high school, but that was two years ago and it also doesn't have to mean anything because I have a boy best friend and people who don't know we're both gay mistake us as a couple. And even if he was her boyfriend, she could be bi. I don't know how to figure any of that out.

And I got her number so I can make more plans with her!! But since she's pre-med, her schedule is INSANE. She showed me the graph and all I could say was holy shit. So I'm thinking maybe we should go to Starbucks again sometime.

I didn't even do the nervous voice! And I didn't freak out any, not even when I asked for her number. I just now texted her so she'll have my number too. I don't know if she'll text me back because I didn't really say anything except that I had fun today, and I know she's like super busy today but yeah!

One week ago, I could not even so much as glance in this girl's general direction without feeling so nervous that I completely lost the ability to function like a normal human being, and look at me now! She's so cute, oh my god. I really like her!!!


jeff's picture


Interpersonal relationships aren't meant to be mysterious or adversarial. There's no evidence she isn't interested or available for friendship. She initiated contact. She has been friendly. She's interested.

Now, before it gets too long or awkward, make sure she knows you're into girls. You only have a specific window where it is kind of normal to mention, after which it will seem like something you're not mentioning on purpose.

If you tell her soon, it is information. If you keep it hidden, it is because you are into her and afraid of her reaction. But she is either into girls or not, and if she is, she is either into you or not... so, these are all already known things to her.

At this point, you can only delaying finding out something that already exists...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Super Duck's picture

But how long do I have until

But how long do I have until it's too awkward to tell her? I don't know how to do any of this stuff! I'm brand new at this!!

jeff's picture


For your own mental health, do it soon.

You're in college. It isn't supposed to be clues and innuendo like high school, where if you are outed, you're stuck uncomfortable in this group of people you can't get away from.

In college, no one cares and you never have to see people again that you dislike.

You don't have to say that you're into her, just girls in general.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Bosemaster42's picture

Hey Duck,

Nothing wrong with getting up early on a Sunday. Think of what you might have missed. The next time you have coffee with her, slip it into the conversation subtly, if possible. That way, she'll know. In fact, if she's into girls she'll likely tell you that she is too. What will you do if that happens eh?

Super Duck's picture

I really hope there's a next

I really hope there's a next time... I don't know when I should ask her again? I mean obviously not today since it's Monday, but maybe later this week. I don't know. I didn't talk to her in class today because I freaked out and got nervous even though that's sooo ridiculous because I was totally fine yesterday when it was just us!

I don't know how to just slip it into conversation! And if she told me she is too, I have no idea what I'd do. My brain would probably crash.

jeff's picture


You seem to focus on patterns.

I am always awkward, therefore this will happen awkwardly.

She goes to Starbucks on Sundays, therefore I can see her next Sunday.

Why not unawkwardly ask her if she wants to hang out during the week, and see what she says?

Unless patterns are serving you well, I'd try to break them more than accept and reinforce them. College is a time of reinvention (or it used to be, before people dragged their entire high school class with them to college on Facebook), so who do you want to be? And, what can you do to arc toward that person?

You're too young to be locked on a singular path from now to the grave. Mix it up.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Super Duck's picture

I hate patterns. They

I hate patterns. They clearly don't work for me at all, and all they do is make me freak out even more (if that's even possible) but also I can't not do things this way, it seems.

I don't know if she can hang out during the week because her schedule is truly insane. It seems safer to continue meeting her on Sundays for a while until (if) she suggests something else.

jeff's picture

Most important phrase...

"I don't know if she can hang out during the week..."

Yet you already, in her proxy, explained why she couldn't accept your unsent invitation. That certainly is a time saver, playing both roles. ;-)

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Mein Gott

This was an adorable journal. Jeff's given all necessary advice, so I'm just going to say 'GOOD LUCK!'




In conclusion,

I am the Walrus, koo-koo kachoo. Q.E.D., bitches.

Super Duck's picture

Thanks. I'm definitely going

Thanks. I'm definitely going to need all the luck I can get!!

Bosemaster42's picture

You have her number,

And, Aren't you in a class with her? Ask her when she's going to Starbucks again. Hell, she could be there every morning. I always get my coffee at the same place and usually around the same time every day. After all, we are all creatures of habit. Regardless, I hope you are able to hang with her again.

Super Duck's picture

She mentioned that she goes

She mentioned that she goes to that particular Starbucks almost every Sunday morning. So honestly I could just show up since that Starbucks is right next to where I live, but I think it would be a bit weird to just randomly show up without saying anything about it to her. I really, really want to meet up with her again this Sunday, but I feel like now is too soon to ask again since it's only Tuesday.

jeff's picture


It's not too soon to ask her what she's doing Thursday...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Super Duck's picture

Update: We're going again

Update: We're going again this Sunday. I was sooo worried because it took her over a day to respond to my text, but she wants to hang out again!!!

lordmomofenixed's picture


a blank "interested in" section means the person is gay or doesnt have a preference, that is, until proven straight. that's the logic i live by.

a psychotic pencilist, moe