Consciousness

lordmomofenixed's picture

I guess it's about time I this out into the open air.

I had never been the child to have "normal" dreams. As a child, I was the one who could always fly, traveling to vast worlds I have never been to. Sometimes, I could see a portion of the future portrayed in a weird dream like version of what was to happen. OK, yes, very weird.... I know. But that's not even the half. In fact, I have consistently dreamt nightmares for almost the entirety of my lifetime, with a few exceptions. I can recall being visited by demons when I was about 5. My mom tried to to remedy it by telling me good night stories before I went to sleep. But I would still be visited by demons with their dark visions. Nothing much ever worked.

As I got older, calling my mother in every time I would wake up in a cold sweat was no longer "cool", so I learned to keep them to myself. Coincidentally, as I got older, my nightmares grew in clarity, voracity, and volume of violence. This continues to this very day.

Fires engulf whole cities, people get shot, cars wreck in an instant... all while I stand by and watch. Lately, my dreams have included martial law, concentration camps, and many natural disasters. No matter how many times I try to change what happens in my dreams, they persist.

Now, before you judge me, I am perfectly stable and capable of living in the real world. I do not need to go into an asylum. lol After I wake up, I realize they are only dreams. Just the darkest thoughts that escape the labyrinth of my mind during the heat of the night.

However, they still scare the living hell out of me...

Comments

Outkast's picture

Dreams can be a reflection

Dreams can be a reflection of things (drama) going on in your life, or just random things that happen. I don't place too much value in them now, but when I was a young teen the gay themed dreams I had let me act out things in my sleep that I'd never do in real life.

I used to have a recurring dream that I was a doctor and all of my patients were boys my age getting their sports physicals, with me doing and asking questions that are probably not acceptable in real life.

I think it's great that you're discussing this here, and hopefully we can help you feel okay about this?

Anthony

lordmomofenixed's picture

oh my ^_^

those sound like interesting dream settings!! Lol. And yes, perhaps talking about this can cause a sort of mental revelation.

a psychotic pencilist, moe

anarchist's picture

The demons reminded me of the Ganzfeld Effect.

People always see the same creatures when they do it, and those creatures sometimes find a way into their life weeks after the experiment is over. It sounds awful.

I always enjoy nightmares, because they seem so real and they're as inspiring as any other dreams. It's unfortunate that you have such bad experiences with them.

lordmomofenixed's picture

im going....

To have to go google the ganzfield effect and get back to you on that asap. Thanks for using big words. Lol.

a psychotic pencilist, moe

jeff's picture

Just remember...

"A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep..."

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Hm.

I understand such things. Many of my dreams involve destruction, fear, and murder- I've killed most of my closest friends in my dreams (very disturbing dreams, in fact, considering the ferocity with which the murders were committed), and while I'm not exactly the very picture of sanity, I'm certainly not a violent person: I haven't physically hurt anyone since fifth grade, and that was an event that appears to have drastically changed my personality.

There's darkness within the human mind, yes- but it is useless to run from it. It's a true sign of the foolishness of society that we seem encouraged to fear our innate darkness; in order to live with authenticity and peace, it's necessary to embrace that darkness. This may sound like an elaborate villain speech- "COME TO THE DAHK SIDE, LUKE!"- but in reality it's actually based in real psychology. I can't explain it in detail here (I don't have the energy), but look for a good explanation of Jung's idea of the Shadow, and you should get a better understanding of what I mean- assuming you get a real explanation, and not some new-age hippy shit. If you want my explanation, message me; I can explain it if you want.

Anyways...

What I'm trying to express here is that I understand what you're going through, and that you're not a bad person for having these dreams. While I may be a fairly amoral person, I'm not evil- I've no desire to cause any of the harm I dream about, and unless you do, I doubt you're any worse than I am.

* * *

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.