Eep (Finally gonna do it?)

MacAvity's picture

So it's looking like this weekend, probably Saturday, maybe Sunday, I'm finally going to sit my parents down and have a serious talk about me and gender and transitioning and stuff.

Points to hit:

I'm not Kaitlyn's girlfriend. I'm her boyfriend.

I know you know some of this - the name thing, the hair, the clothes, et cetera - but I've been living more and more as a boy for the past couple of years now. I don't know if you know that I've only used a women's bathroom maybe two or three times in the past two and a half years.

And being some inbetween thing was good for a while, and it's still okay, but now I'm with someone who calls me 'he' and it feels good.

And I know you gave me my name, and I hate to take that away from you, but it's just not me. I hate using it, I hate when new people call me that. It's okay when you do, at home, but being introduced as that is very uncomfortable, and, more and more, I feel like I don't want that name on everything, all my records and papers and everything.

So... I don't know. I'm not asking to become your son right away; that would be weird.
I just want you to know.
And I want you to let me be Avity at least in public.
And I want you to come with me to this Trans Support Group, meets downtown on Tuesdays.
And I want you to help me give serious consideration to transitioning more. Name change. Hormones. I'm not saying they have to happen, just that I need to really think about them, and I need you to think about them with me.


I'm scared - not of the outcome, I'm sure it'll be at least okay - just of actually doing it. It's terrifying. But my girlfriend will be right there holding my hand and being proof that someone can take me seriously as a guy.

Wish me luck, Oasies?


radiosilence95's picture


I wish you all the luck in the world, friend. Please let us know how everything goes with your parents. I think it's a conversation that'll do everyone involved a lot of good, regardless of the outcome.

jeff's picture

Good luck...

At this point, one imagines they have to have some clue?! Although transboy and butch lesbian can probably look similar to outsiders.

An interesting story that I've yet to tell on here is that when Andy South transitioned, he actually had a conversation with his mother, and his mother said if he had been a girl, they were going to name him Ariyaphon. So, that is the name she used, and it meant something to her to have the name be from her mother. Not saying you should do that, just reminded me of that anecdote.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

elph's picture

Wishing an all-around great outcome!

You've been working in this direction for at least 3+ years!

I'm confident that your smiles will be irrepressible once it is behind you!

Good luck... and, don't be nervous!

lonewolf678's picture

What everyone else said!

I hope all goes well. By the way, new icon is funny, me gusta (I like).

MacAvity's picture

Thanks, everybody.

I'm sure that before too long there'll be a great long journal about how it went. I can't help being nervous, and I know I wouldn't be brave enough to do it at all without my girlfriend's help, but I'm sure it will be okay as long as I can speak. I've done all I can on my own, and I think they (or at least my mom) have some idea - but it's time to really talk to them about it.

And Jeff, I've certainly thought about that - unfortunately I already have a first name, but if I need a middle name I do want my parents to choose it.

Again, thanks for the kind wishes. It really means a lot.