Our hands, our heads, our brains, our lungs, they're just machines. Our hearts are all we've got left, and they're just machines

swimmerguy's picture

I'm tenser than I thought, I woke up yesterday with a real ringer of a headache, wondering why, as of course I just got a good night's sleep. Then I found my jaw ached like all hell as well, so I think I was grinding/clenching my teeth all night long.
The headache raped me all day till I took some ibuprofen and it went away.

So that's okay, but my jaw still aches and I still woke up with a headache this morning, so this might be a common thing for me even if I don't realize it. I read some things on the Internet, the premier source for medical information, and it said chewing gum, which I do all the time, or unwittingly clenching or grinding during the day, which I think I do way more often than I realize, can train your jaw to clench.
So can stress and just general tension.

So I've resolved to take a resounding chill pill, I would really rather not abuse my jaw. I try to keep my jaw slack and generally relax.

Which reminds me: of the last journal I posted, thank you for your responses, honestly, it may not seem like it, but just people knowing, for once, that I've been having this constant elephant in the room, and even better, reassuring me, makes me feel somewhat better.
I'm still unsure what gives me such bad gas and cramping all the time (for all I know, the cramping might just be caused by the gas), but I feel less totally positive it's going to imminently kill me.
Maybe I should keep some food journal to see what might be causing this, whether it's swallowed air, etc, and then I'll feel tons better.

Speaking of the fact that I'm now less sure I'm going to die soon:
I've finally started applying to colleges, after putting it off for far too long.
My mega-dream college turned out to have a deadline of November 7, I hadn't even checked, so I've been scrambling to produce some drop-dead good essays so maybe I won't be miserable for the next couple years.
As for what this college is, honestly, I care about it to such an irrational degree I don't even want to say until the deadline's passed, to make sure no one hears about it from this journal and applies to lessen my chances.

So, to avoid stressing myself out, I'll do just that.

And then I have 4 others of varying due dates to get cracking on. What a life I have.

As for good things that have been happening to me, I've been working on my off-road biking skills. In just weeks I've gotten tons better, and I have to say that is some fun shit. Almost as good as mountain climbing, which unfortunately I get little of anymore as the snows have been socking in our beautiful mountains.
Sad little me.

Anyway, that's my life, pretty fucking sad. And soon I'll be old.


jeff's picture


Maybe if you got laid more in real life you wouldn't have to suck cocks until your jaw gives out in your dreams?

Honestly, your trouble areas are your jaw and your ass? Hmm...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

swimmerguy's picture

I knew I could count on you

I knew I could count on you

jeff's picture


I aim to please.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Life is short...

Well, for now. Better to be old than dead, though, don't you think? I dunno about you, but being dead puts a significant damper on my plans.

And if you feel your life is too boring, I would seriously consider taking the route of madness and theatrics. Nothing makes your life more interesting than dressing as a gothic caricature of a militaristic dictator for no particular reason!

That and getting laid, as Jeff suggested. It's a good technique for getting rid of stress. Surely a strapping lad like yourself is prime meat for the slaughter on the lovely West coast! I would certainly devour any young swimmer without a moments hesitation, perhaps with some fava beans and a nice chianti... *salivates* I've always loved seafood...

* * *

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.

swimmerguy's picture

I wish

Have been working on getting a relationship going, but it's so far moving at a glacial pace. It's just a guy I'm like 99% sure is gay but don't have any classes with so moving in for the kill is difficult.
A lot of that is his fault for being difficult to organize things with, but part of it's mine.