So I was watching a movie to-day (specifically it was a pornograpic movie because why the fuck not) and I started wondering about why the things that are are the things that are, yea?
In other news, the past is rather fractured. And when I say fractured I mean flexible. And when I say flexible I mean flexible in the same way that a piece of hot glass is flexible so long as you don't try to bend it too hard and make it snap. I know this because half of the things I say aren't true until I say them, at which point they're true because I decide that they always were. It really works! Call now and you'll receive a free waffle- it slices, dices, and makes Julie-Anne fries! I dunno who Julie-Ann is, or why I want to make her French-fries, but maybe she's cute and I want to get in her pants. I'm okay with that.
TELEKINETIC BOOK DUMPING. IT IS S&M DAY AT THE FIELD MUSEUM.
Dear God: why are you not real? Can I make you real? I bet I could. I bet if I thought hard enough you would be. But knowing my head you'd come out more like Klaus Kinski's version of Don Lope Aguirre. Which could be kinda cool, from a certain point of view. If I do that could I have a tree-boat? I'm okay with that. I like boats, and trees, and tree-houses, and so why not a boat-tree-house?
WHO THE FUCK IS ALAN ALDA
Also I think that a pair of hips would make for a great hat.
Can I pleeeease go to the bathroom?
I don't know, can you?
WELL THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING YOU STUPID MORON WITHIN THIS CONTEXT 'CAN' IS BASICALLY SHORT FOR 'AM I CAPABLE OF GOING TO THE BATHROOM WITHIN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES AS A RESULT OF MY ACTION.
GIVE ME MAAAARBLES! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA