2 years and 2 days

Mogul's picture

It's been two years since I created this account, and it's been incredible all the stuff that this two years have brought me, I still remember the night when I created, my depression, Nico, my school problems, being a new kid, the bitch of my old psychologist and many other things. It makes me sad that next year I won't be able to write here and whine about life.

Many things have happened in those two months and 2 days since my last entry. I almost crashed my car one day while I was driving with my dad, some asshole decided to overtake us while being on a closed curve and other car appeared so the asshole decides to throw his car against us, luckily nothing happened, but I wish that the asshole had crashed with the other car or fallen out of the road; later that night I had some party that my class did for the seniors (it's a tradition), it was completely awesome and a big success, I got extremely drunk, decided to call my best friend and tel him that he's really sexy, other things that I can't remember and that he was a jerk for not coming when he promised me; some weird guy appeared and he was supposedly just got out of jail, he was drunk and kinda scary, he told me his whole story because my drunken mind decided to spend some time with him, when that guy was gone I stared talking with some cute senior and we kinda clicked, he was really funny and nice, I don't know how we ended up hugging and then holding hands, but sadly I can't remember if we did something else or what happened to him, something else that I did was come out to some girl, she asked me politely and I already knew that I had to say no, but she's a lesbian and my brain decided to tell her. Still the party was good, I didn't sleep and got a huge hangover in the afternoon. Later that day when I was completely "fine" I had some quinces, and I didn't have planned getting drunk, but accidentally did, some friend gave me some shots and then after 10 shots I realized I was drunk, I met an awesome girl and we started talking, we had a lot of thing in common so it was nice, we danced (thing that I only do when alcohol takes control of my body), I had a nice time and I don't know why I wanted to kiss that girl, it was really weird, the last thing I remember was some friends mom dropping me home and pretending to be sober when my parents opened the door, it was really funny and I guess my parents believed it.

November was a really hard and weird month, my depression got stronger, but I still had my happy days. I love the memory of one day that our school took us to some park/museum/aquarium, since it was in the city we had to enjoy one hour on the most comfortable and awesome bus of the world, I had hypomania on the bus so I earned a few stares, but the best thing was that I was with a friend which was laughing a lot because she had gadejo (it's a word that got no translation and it's only from my country, it gets defined as when you're messing with someone or something on a funny way, when you're extremely happy, won't stop laughing and other stuff that I don't know how to put into words); when we arrived to the park was closed, but some friend talked to some people and they let us in, it was a really good day and the best part was the aquarium; the ride back home was even better, I occupied to seats put some music and enjoyed the ride, it was really relaxing and I didn't want to get out of that bus; another good thing that happened is that some friend told me that most of my class doubts or knows that I'm gay, everyone is ok with it, that made my day ten times better. The last day of school was extremely good, our seniors jackets arrived, we didn't do anything, made a huge pile of books, paper, projects and burnt it, I hugged a lot my two best friends, almost cried and that was all I was finally free from school. I guess summer is boring and lonely, I haven't seen my best friend since Nov 23rd, we barley talk and that kinda makes me sad, I've been really depressed and it's been hard to get out of bed in the morning, I just watch tv, play games and eat, there's nothing else to do, then only day that I get out of my house is when I have an appointment with the psychologist.

Apparently he found the reason of my hypomania and big depressive moments, he thinks it might be epilepsy, we just need to wait until I get another seizure to be sure and get some exams, treatment and meds.


jeff's picture


Did your best friend ever mention you saying he was sexy?! ;-)

Hopefully you're on the path to finding out a way to help you get out of bed more easily in the mornings.

As for Oasis, if there's an upswing in members, it will still be here. But at present usage, it can't really be sustained. So, not for sure, but time will tell...

Happy new year, babe.

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles