I feel odd looking back at past journals. The past is not something that I am fond of, a lot of my journals are personal memories that are pretty miserable but basically myself just moaning a lot about my shortcomings. Writing the journals though helped me understand myself better and I think Oasis was a very important and safe area for me to do this.
A situation happened today that made me sad. I have just got back from a trip to Edinburgh and Glasgow, which i had gone with the Art College that I am at, studying an Art Foundation. In England you have to complete a 1 year art foundation course after your A Levels, in order to get into the top Art and Design Universities. I had a pretty great time in Scotland, I have a whole new and much better group of friends at art college then I did when I was back in high school. Anyway I took 2 disposal cameras on the trip and I took a lot of pictures of some cool things that i did away. However when I went to go pick up my photographs today, something in the process of printing the film went wrong and my film was ruined. The place gave me 2 free disposal cameras and free processing for the cameras after, but I was really disappointed as beforehand I was so impatient and excited to see the photographs.
Then for the rest of today i have been in a glum mood. I watched "A Single Man" with Colin Firth which I had seen before and was excellent viewing the second time round. But I just cant seem to shake of this feeling of annoyance and being emotional. Over this past year I have had to deal with more adult problems, then just longing for someone to love me and in a way it has been a much more happier (though I think that is a hard thing to describe) year, then others because of that. I don't understand though why this problem today made me feel like I had done in past journals. I will get over though, considering I need to get on with my work this week as It is going to be very busy before christmas. Oh also this song is incredible, I always manage to produce work to it, it is beautiful to listen to.